My Turf

College Life: My Assessment.

2007-06-23T10:53:00.000+08:00

Hiatus.

2006-11-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

I don't know when I'll be back.
I've lost interest in this.
I need to pick up the shards.
Wish me luck.

P.S. Sorry for not announcing this ahead of time. I was freaking busy.

Para sa mga taong may MU (Malabong Usapan) Relationship

2006-11-04T13:55:00.000+08:00

She is a 24-year old copywriter.
He is an architect.
They met and became lovers in college.
They broke up last year but remained to be "friends."
They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay.
They still date.
They still have sex.
They don't see anyone else.
It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score.
Even her friends are in the dark.
"Parang sila, pero hindi."

---
She works in a telecom.
He is reviewing for the board.
They are in the same barkada.
They talk on the phone till 4 am.
He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion.
Their friends are suspecting something.
Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman?
Why does he hold her close on the dance floor?
Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi?
Sila kaya?
"He hasn't admitted anything," she rants.
"But I let him hug and kiss me.
Parang kami, pero hindi."

---

They work together in an ad agency.
After office, they would watch a movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta.
She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous.
They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it.
He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then.
But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him.
She likes him.
And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too.
There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

---

She is a 28-year-old virgin.
He's a 35-year-old bachelor.
Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs.
After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out.
They have been doing this for months.
She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it.
"We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends.
"What's important is I am enjoying this-whatever it is."

---

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage.
Others call it MU or mutual understanding.
Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings.
Almost like a relationship, but not quite.

It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers.
Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala.
One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi.
You just let your gestures do the talking for you.
Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari.
Hindi kayo mag-dyowa.
Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons.
It can happen after a break-up.
You still love each other and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason.
And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.
It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam.
Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna.
Testing lang.
Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo-usually the guy *may ka relasyon na.
Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun.
Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."
Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.
So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan? Iba't ibang dahilan.
Puwedeng for fun lang.
Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang"pantawid-gutom."
Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.
For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all.
It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako.
No commitments involved.
For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.
My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."
Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling.
Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko.
Iyong merong kahang-out sa beach outing.
Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message.
Iyong merong laging kasama.
Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real.
And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.
Una, you can't ask him to commit.
Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner.
Ano ba kayo?
May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi?
You will always be uncertain about your role in his life.
You can't expect him to be always there with you.
And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself.
Ano ka ba niya para magselos?
Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him?
You can't be sure if he feels the same way.
Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya.
Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't.
Because you're not sure if he'll like it.
Baka mapahiya ka lang.

This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship.
Or if there is a relationship at all.
Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much?
What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't?
What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting.
When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it.
Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship.
Wala kang pinanghahawakan.
Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us."
Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo.
Kaso, hindi eh.
Real pain.
And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun.
And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

Ang hirap, ano?
You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.
Pero pwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh.
Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.
But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili.
You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next.
Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo.
Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence.
Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo.

>>>

Just a thought. Hindi naman ako ang speaker dyan sa post na yan. Galing ito sa isang friend ko sa friendster na nagpasya ikwento sakin ang mga naranasan niya sa pag-ibig.

Just a Thought.

2006-11-02T17:53:00.000+08:00

To all those who commented on my last post, thank you very much. I really appreciated your kindness for me.

***

Apparently, I am very pissed off with the members of this house, especially my sis and my dad because of their bossiness.

Well, I am still faced with the prospect of doing my HW Helpers, they are a real pain in the ***.

As I type this entry, I try to comprehend my Araling Panlipunan notes. Since I skipped classes for the Quiz Bee training, I can't possibly understand the lesson without my teachers explaining it to me. Especially the new Math lesson they just had before the Semestral Break (Harmonic Progression). It was a good thing Ms. Gem didn't include that one into the last quiz or else, I wouldn't take the quiz at all.

***

I really put a lot of blood, sweat and tears (literally!) into training for the Quiz Bee. Actually, there were a lot of controversies involved with my selection as the Third member of the 3-man team representing our school. Let me count the ways:

1. The other two members of the team were consistent honor students. Me? Oh, I would consider myself a school bum. It's not that I'm not serious with my studies but I guess, I never did really value schoolwork. So it's like I'm just what we filipinos call "saling-pusa".

2. Teachers never really believed in me. I think they based their un-belief in me during my elementary years. But, I was really serious during elementary so why would they not believe in me?

I never realized that I would be the one filling in the void left by one of supposed members (she's a third year honor student). For one thing, it was during those times I feel so helpless because of so many problems (for those who read the last post, that is one of the problems I dealt with) and pile upon pile of projects, quizzes, seatworks, HW Helpers and more. So when the letter of invitation was given to me by my class adviser, saying that it is really for me, I was practically worrying when I came home.

But I resolutely took the challenge.

It was my time. My time.

To shine.

***

Steering our school to the 1st Runner-up finish is no mean feat. We encountered quite a lot of difficulties. But all I can say, I've done everything I can to help them. I am content with that.

A Serious Matter.

2006-10-30T21:07:00.001+08:00

NOTE: The thing I'm about to discuss is very serious and readers would be advised to be very tactful and sensitive in reading this post. I will be revealing some aspects of my personality that I don't know whether you'll accept or reject. To all those who know me personally at school, I advise you to be very careful in judging my character after you read this post.

***

I turned on my computer at about 7:30 in the morning (right after I ate my breakfast) and decided to get started on my research proposal when my procrastination attacked me again and I decided to blog hop instead. After going to Mr. Talksmart's blog to monitor the voting, I checked out my blog again and saw a couple of new tags. I clicked the link on one of the tags (I think that was Mai's blog) and the first post there caught my attention. I decided to check out Potpot's blog for the original post and after a few minutes of reading and rereading the said post, I decided that I couldn't hide anything anymore. I decided to give my reaction to the said post.

***

I am also openminded when it comes to homosexual realationships.

I believe that they should also be given a chance to be happy. They should not be discriminated because they are people too, just like you and me. In fact, I salute them because they were not afraid to reveal to people who they really are. I don't believe that homosexuals were the scum of society. They are even more determined to make ends meet by taking jobs in the parlor, etc. and I respect them for that.

With regards to the relationship part, I think that they are even more sincere than the straight ones. They really shower their partners with love and affection. The realtionship is almost perfect, except that they are of the same sex.
...

I was once involved with this kind of realtionship.

Shocking isn't it? Yes, I was once involved into this kind of relationship. Believe me, it did not cross my mind that I would have a relationship with someone of the same sex but it did happen. It did happen.

***

I once studied in an all-girls school, St. Paul College-Paranaque. This old school of mine is now a coed school, but during my time (about 1997-1998), it was just exclusive for girls. Boys were a BIG no-no into our campus back then. So, I have seen lots of girls milling around the campus, doing other stuffs beyond the normal scale. I was really curious back then. *thinks*

My first brush with this so-called homosexual feelings came when I was in Grade Five, when I transferred to ESS-South. I had this certain 'crush' on this girl in our class. But, I was able to control my feelings when I had a crush on a boy in the same class. But that feeling returned when I was in Grade Six, I also had a 'crush' on this girl in my class again. But still the same, I managed to control my feelings. I thought that I would be able to get over it when I move on to High School. But I was wrong.

During my first and second year, I had 'crushes' on girls. But still the same, I managed to get over it but I noticed that I would usually have periods where in I would feel really frustrated with the missed opportunities. And everytime boys dance with them during the HS Night, I would really lose control.

But during my Third Year, it happened.

***

I met her during a CCP practice. I was still at school and I decided to watch the practice since I have nothing else to do. I was with my friends when she suddenly joined in our conversation. I introduced myself to her and we talked about hilarious stuff that made us laugh so hard. Anyway, after our first meeting, I did not really feel something special but there was this feeling that bothered me. I chose to ignore it.

It was a Sunday when she first called. I remember asking her how did she got my number. Anyway, she told me that she got into an argument with one of my friends and she asked me to help her. I tried to help her, but it was no good. There came a time when we found out that we were deceived, big time by her. I really learned to hate her so much.

She also loved sending me letters. The letters usually contain topics and poems about friendship and love. I don't know what was really in her mind by sending those mushy letters. It was one fateful day, in late January last year that she confessed her secret love for me.

I admit that I was really shocked when she said that. But it confirmed my suspicions that she really felt something for me. I really felt something for her and I decided to take things a little bit further.

***

So what happened to us???

We're not together anymore. Clearly, after she joined YFC, she decided to change for the better. I was glad with the change, although a part of me is still sad. But, I can't bring back the time and who knows, maybe i'll someday find the meaning of true love. With the opposite sex.

A Day to Remember.

2006-10-28T18:34:00.000+08:00

Hindi ako makapaniwala na ang araw na ito ay magdudulot sakin ng kakaibang sigla at panghihinayang. Ngunit tama na ang pagpapaliguy-ligoy dahil magkukwento na ako.

...

Kakagaling ko lang sa UPHDS-Molino. Sumali kasi ang school namin sa UP Angkan Talahasaan 2006. Hehe...Yun talaga ang unang beses na sumali kami doon pero, nanalo pa kami 2nd Place Overall! Eto na ang kwento:

Pumunta ako ng school ng mga 6:10 ng umaga. Nagulat ako nang tanungin ng mga guards doon kung sasama daw ba ako sa Field Trip(?). Sabi ko na pupunta kami ng Molino at dito lang kami sa school magkikita-kita. Naupo ako sa mga patong-patong na upuan at nahikab. Bangag kasi ako dahil napuyat ako sa HS Night. Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto, dumating si Ms. Joy tapos si K.
Naghintay pa kami ng ilang minuto tapos dumating na si Kaye Solomon.

Eto, nakaupo parin kami tapos hikab ako nang hikab dahil inaantok pa ako. Tapos, dumating si Shane saka si Christianne Mojica. kasabay pala nila si Ms. Aubelle. Nagpasya na kaming sumakay doon sa sasakyan papunta roon sa UPHDS. Pagkasakay namin, dumating narin sa wakas si Monique. Hinintay parin namin si Aya pero nung tinawagan namin siya, sabi nya susunod nalang siya. Kaya, umalis na rin kami.

Pagkatapos namin magdasal, nakuha ko pang magpatawa sa kanila. Epekto na rin siguro ito ng Extra Joss na ininom ko kaninang umaga. Tapos, nagreview kami ni Ms. Aubelle. Feeling ko talaga, handang-handa na kami.

Pagdating namin sa Perpetual, dumaan muna kami sa Chapel. Nagdasal kami nang husto. Talagang gusto naming manalo. Pagkatapos nun, pumunta na kami sa gym. Sa may harap kami naupo at naghintay. Mga 9 na nagsimula yung program. Talagang nabangag ako sa sobrang bored at halos makakatulog nako.

Sa wakas, magsisimula na ang laban.

Nagsimula na ang written phase ng Quiz Bee. Grabe, ang hihirap ng mga tanong. Hindi talaga lumabas ang mga pinag-aralan namin. Buti nalang, medyo alam ko yung mga sagot pero nung tinanong yung tungkol sa pangalan ng mga bata sa Narnia, pinalitan ko pa yung sagot...tama na sana! T_T

Pagbalik namin sa gym, sinabi namin na wag nang umasa na makakapasok kami sa oral phase eliminations. Habang kumakain, nirecall ko yung mga tanong. Ayun, nagsisihan kami dun sa sagot sa Narnia. So, pagkatapos ng lunch, tinawag na yung mga nag-qualify. 9 na yung natatawag na school pero di pa kami natatawag. Asa pa kami, naisip ko.

Pero nagulat kami bigla. Tinawag kami.

Tuwang-tuwa kami lahat. High fives ang nakuha naming tatlo. Pumunta na kami sa pwesto namin at naghintay. Nagdasal kami ulit sa upuan namin. At ayan, magsisimula na!

Ok naman kami nung oral phase. Nasasagot naman namin yung mga tanong. Pero, lagi kaming mali sa Math! Kakaasar kasi sayang talaga yun. Pero, pagkatapos ng oral phase, kami na ang nangunguna! 43 points ang nakuha namin. Nakapasok din sa finals ang Cavite Institute, Imus Institute, Cavite National High School, at ang host school, UPHDS.

Ayan, may intermission number muna. Grabe, ang gagaling sumayaw ng mga UPHDS White Angels. Lalo na yung naka-pigtails. LOL. Ayun, pagbalik sa audience, hugs, kisses, and high fives ang sumalubong samin. Nakakatuwa kasi natakasan namin yung oral phase. Tapos, leading contenders pa kami kasi 7 points ang lamang namin sa Imus Institute. Ayun, briefing muna. Wag daw kabahan, pindutin agad ang buzzer pag may sagot. Yun, time na para magstart ang final round...

Sa kasamaang palad, natalo kami ng Cavite Institute para sa 1st place. Pero nakuha namin yung 2nd place dahil sa...Brokeback Mountain. Nung bumaba kami ng stage, sinalubong kami ng: hugs, kisses, at high fives ulit. Medyo nanghinayang ako sa mga sagot ko pero ayos lang yun. Ang mahalaga, nanalo kami ng 2nd place kahit first time namin.

Nanalo rin pala si Christianne sa short story writing, 3rd place. Nanalo rin si Kaye Solomon, 3rd place din sa extemporaneous speaking. Sayang, di nanalo si Shane sa essay writing at si K sa poster making pero ayos lang. Nanalo naman ang school namin, 2nd place overall sa lahat ng contests! Babasagin nga lahat ng medals at trophy namin eh!

Grabe, ang dami kong natutunan sa experience na yun. Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang araw na ito. Kapag dumating ulit ang araw na ito, maalala at maaalala ko ang nangyari ngayon...

Gusto ko pasalamatan si Ms. Aubelle, Ms. Jham, Ms. Joy, Sir Romy sa pagtrain saming tatlo ni Aya at Monique. Gusto ko rin magpasalamat sa lahat ng taong nagwish samin ng Good Luck. Kung wala kayo, hindi namin mararating ang tagumpay na ito. At most especially kay God.

...

P.S. Ang saya ng HS Nyt nung Friday! Sa wakas, may nakipagsayaw na sakin! Eto na ang pinakamasayang HS Night sa buong buhay ko, kahit may Quiz bee kinabukasan.. LOL.

Nanalo ako bilang Filipino Blog of the Week. Sa lahat ng bumoto sakin, salamat nang madami. Nominated ako ulit! Boto nyo naman ako. Same mechanics as before.

Click ulit ang image para dalhin kayo sa page ni Mr. Talksmart. Hanapin ang voting box, at i-check ang myturforbust. Click vote at nakaboto ka na! Gaya nga ng sabi ko dati, hindi ko kayo pinpilit bumoto. Kung gusto nyo, i-preview nyo muna ang blog ko bago bumoto. Pero mas matutuwa ako kung iboboto nyo ako.

Salamat talaga ng marami!

Tagged. Again. Again.

2006-10-26T18:57:00.000+08:00

Ang tagal ko nang di nakatanggap ng tag. Na-tag pala ako ni Pot. Eto yung details:

Simply list down nine weird things about one's self and tag nine others (plus 1).

Ah ok. Yun lang pala.

...

1. Obsessed ako sa Chupa Chups lollipops, lalo na yung cola flavor! Lagi ko siyang kinakain mula bahay hanggang school bus hanggang classroom, habang nagkaklase, nagtetest, nagsusulat ng short story, nagrereview sa quiz bee, and back. Pero minsan lang 'to nangyayari at pag good mood lang ako.

2. Gusto ko ang study method na...wala! Ayoko talaga ng memorization kaya ang ginagawa ko lang ay quick glancing sa mga notes at..voila! Pero ok naman ang resulta kasi pumapasa naman ako. ^_^

3. May short-term memory gap rin ako. Wag na wag nyong ipapahawak ang mga gamit nyo sakin kasi hindi pa kayo tumatalikod, eh hindi ko na alam kung saan nakalagay! Kaya nga ako maraming atraso dahil dyan eh.

4. Hindi ako nagsasawa pagdating sa kanta. Hindi rin ako mapili pagdating dun. Kahit patugtugin nyo ay iisang kanta lang, ayos lang kasi madali akong ma-LSS, kahit Gregorian Chant o Slipknot pa yan! \m/

5. Minsan ay schizoprenic ako (tama ba spelling???). Nakakagawa ako ng sariling imaginary friends. Kapag pumasok ako sa SENTI MODE (with matching white pupils at irap effect to boot at leave-me-alone syndrome) , nakakagawa ako ng imaginary friends na singdami ng crowd sa isang rock concert...

6. Risk-taker ako. Hindi ko pinapalampas ang kahit anong delikado. Naalala ko pa nga nabalian ako ng buto kasi naglambitin ako dun sa parang mataas na monkey bars tapos ang ewan ko talaga, bigla nalang akong nahulog at Crack!

7. KSP ako paminsan-minsan. Hindi na nga ako maintindihan ng mga tao kasi paiba-iba ako ng mood. Kasama na dyan ang pagiging killjoy.

8. Crush ko talaga si L! Kasi mukha siyang autistic? Joke!

Nakakarelate kasi ako sa character nya. Kahit mukha siyang autistic, matalino siyang detective. At hindi L nagsisimula ang tunay niyang pangalan. Kaya kong manood ng DEATH NOTE buong gabi kahit hindi pa ako matulog.

at...

9. May echolalia ako. Madalas kong ulitin yung huling salita na sinasabi ko, pero pabulong lang naman, Wala pa namang nakakapansin sa kakaibang phenomenon na ito kaya safe parin ako.

Tag ko sina: Lexine, Rizza, Karmi, Celena, Fiel, Chino, Justine, Tricia, Via at si... Kevin.

Senti-sentihan.

2006-10-23T19:40:00.000+08:00

Kakauwi ko lang galing school. Medyo may hangover parin ako dun sa mga pangyayari kanina. Ewan ko, parang ang sarap-sarap balikan ng mga pangyayari. Hay buhay.

Pagpasok ko ng kwarto, tinawag ako ng tito ko. "May sulat ka," sabi nya. Inabot nya sakin ang tatlong sobre. Yung unang dalawang sobre, credit card bill at insurance bills pala. Pero, nang makita ko yung huling sobre, parang napatalon ako sa gulat...

...

Sulat mula sa isang taong matagal ko nang di nasilayan. Si Debu.

Pinagmasdan ko nang maigi ang sulat. Dali-dali ko binuksan ang sobre at card pala ang laman nun. Binasa ko ang laman ng card. Happy Birthday and take care ang nakalagay dun. Napangiti ako. Wala pa rin siyang pinagbago. Pati handwriting nya, ganun pa rin.

...

Naalala ko bigla ang araw na nagkakilala kami. Ipinakilala kasi sya sakin ni Juan. Nung una ko siyang nakita, mukha naman siyang mabait, sabi ko. Nalalaman ko kasi mula sa mga tao na madalas siyang asarin dahil sa *malalaking butas nya sa ilong*. Pero kahit ganun, ok parin sya sakin. Hindi naman kasi ako tumitingin sa panlabas na anyo ng isang tao...Sa kalooban ako tumitingin. ^_^

Ayun, medyo naging close kami kahit magkaiba kami ng section (sa star section kasi siya). Masarap siyang kasama at makwento pa. Hindi ko na nga mabilang ang mga beses na halos matumba nako sa sahig sa kakatawa *LOL*. Pero, di ko maiwasan na maawa sa kanya kasi lagi nalang sya inaapi ng mga kaklase nya.

Naging magkaklase kami nung second year. Dito ko siya mas nakilala nang mabuti. Tama nga ako sa pagkakakilala ko sa kanya. Magkasama kami palagi sa pang-aasar kay Denise "200" Salazar. Sila talagang dalawa ni Denise ang mortal na magkaaway. Wala silang pinalampas na mga sandali na di nag-aaway. Medyo hirap sya sa academics nya, kaya tinutulungan ko sya kahit sa maliit na paraan lang.

Makalipas ng ilang buwan, nagpasya siyang gumawa ng isang bagong tropa...Isang tropa na namumukod-tangi sa aming section. Ang mga miyembro: Siya, ako, Betz, Ayumi, Michi at Jak. Naging isang masayang tropa, nagsasama-sama sa hirap(?) at ginhawa. Naging simbolo namin ang isang singsing. Tinawag namin ang tropa bilang CIRCLE OF FRIENDS...

Nagsimula kaming magkaroon ng mga "Bonding sessions." Una ay nung birthday nya pagkatapos ng Christmas Party sa glorietta. Siya lahat ang taya. Naalala ko nga eh nung naubos ko agad yung credits sa Timezone card ko kakalaro ng Time Crisis. Hindi ko alam na yun pala ang parang pagpahayag nya na aalis na sya.

Nalaman nalang namin isang araw na aalis na siya patungong Amerika. Nalungkot talaga kami pero ganun talaga ang buhay. May aalis, may babalik. Nung huling araw ng pasukan, talagang nagkaiyakan kaming lahat. Hindi talaga namin gusto siyang umalis.

Nagdaos siya ng isang despedida sa Island Cove. Bukod sa buong tropa, kasam rin namin si Jara, isa naming kaklase. Nagsaya kami doon kakakanta ng kung ano-ano. Naalala ko pa nga nang kinanta ni Debu ang "The Prayer"....

...

"Let us be our pray'r..."

Yun ang kantang nagpabalik sakin sa realidad. Umihip nang malakas ang hangin. Napangiti ako. Wala parin siyang pinagbago.

WOW! Achievement.

2006-10-22T12:17:00.000+08:00

Hehe. For the first time in history, THIRD PLACE ako bilang blog of the week! Ang saya ko talaga! Kahit hindi ako nanalo ng 1st or 2nd place, ok lang yun sakin.

Sa mga bumoto sakin, maraming salamat talaga! Boto nyo ako ulit ha. Same mechanics as before:

Salamat talaga ng marami!

P.S. Hindi ako makatulog dahil sa Physics homework helper ko. Sobrang sakit ng ulo ko dahil sa dami ng isosolve. Kakaasar talaga! Buti nalang, hanggang Monday nalang si Sir na magtuturo dahil mag-eearly break sya para magreview sa Masteral exams nya. Good Luck po sa inyo Sir!(may tatlo kaming HW Helpers na sasagutan ngayong sem break. Patay!)

Pwede kayong magtanong ng kahit ano sakin at sasagutin ko ito. Iwan lang ang mga tanong sa comment section o sa tagboard.Pero mas maganda kung sa comments box para hindi masyadong magulo.

Bored. Haha.

2006-10-21T18:44:00.000+08:00

[update]: Wala kasi akong mapost na matino ngayon. Kaya gagayahin ko yung ginawa ni Kuya Icarus05 sa isa niyang post. Kapag minsan mapadaan kayo dito sa blog ko, mag-iwan kayo ng mga tanong at susubukan kong magbigay ng matinong sagot. Sa comments nlang o sa tagboard nyo iwan ang mga tanong ok? Thanks. Ang mga sagot(kung meron man) ay makikita nyo sa isa sa mga future posts ko. Salamat ng marami! >_<>

Your Depression Level: 84%

You seem to be severely depressed.
You should seek immediate attention from your physician.
Depression can be cured - you just need to take the first step.

Are You Depressed?

Your Values Profile

Loyalty:

You value loyalty a fair amount.
You're loyal to your friends... to a point.
But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties.
Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself.

Honesty:

You value honesty a fair amount.
You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it.
If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it.
In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity."

Generosity:

You value generosity a fair amount.
You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take.
Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need.
But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"!

Humility:

You value humility highly.
You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are.
And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better.
You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low.

Tolerance:

You value tolerance highly.
Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you...
You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends.
You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

The Five Factor Values Test

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Ayan. Kita naman na bored ako eh.

School Family

2006-10-19T20:06:00.000+08:00

NOTE: Habang isinusulat ko ang post na ito, inaaksaya ko ang vacant time ko sa pakikinig na mga walang kwentang love songs sa Media Player (nasira kasi yung MP4 ko). Ngayon, binubulywan na ako ng kapatid ko kasi sobrang MUSHY daw??!! Kaya ayun, pinatay ko na tapos eto, tumutunganga sa harap ng monitor at kinikindatan ako ng cursor. Pfftt.

...

Sa aking pagugol ng maraming taon sa paaralan, hindi ko pa tinanong sa aking sarili kung may natutunan ba ako mula sa anim na taon ko sa Grade School at apat na taon sa High School. Well, marami naman syempre.

Ito ang aking pangalawang pamilya. Ang IV-Ecology. Ang tinaguriang "Cream Section" ng Fourth year. Isang malaking karangalan ang mapabilang sa section na ito. Hindi lang dahil lagi kami nananalo sa mga contest(meron pa nga, lahat ng place, nakuha namin!) kundi dahil dito ko natutunan ang maraming aral ng buhay na hindi ko matutunan sa ibang lugar.

Naging mga kaklase ko na sila nung Third Year ako, kaya hindi na nahirapang makisama. Yun nga lang, may mga nabawasan, may mga nadagdag. Pero ayos lang yun kasi madali naman silang pakisamahan.

Marami na kaming pinagdaanang mga pagsubok. Katulad ng "Trip to Jerusalem: Flip Side" na kung saan, talagang na-testing ang aming teamwork. Pero napatunayan ng larong ito na marami pa kaming dapat matutunan tungkol sa kahalagahan ng teamwork. Madalas kasi, kanya-kanya kami sa klase. Liban na lang 'pag di mo na alam ang sagot.

Dito nagkaroon ng mga madalas na asaran. Lahat na ata kami, may sari-sarili nang love triangle. Sa sobrang dami ata, nagkabuhol-buhol na at naging love web na. Ako nga eh, nagkaroon ako agad ng instant 'crush' kuno eh. Ang saya! Well, hindi pa kasama ang mga nicknames na tinatawag samin ng bawat isa. Pero normal na yun.

Hindi lingid sa kaalaman namin na maraming teacher ang ayaw samin. Kasi nga daw, bukod DAW sa matatalino kami, mga arogante DAW kami. Alam naman namin na hindi naman lahat samin ganun ang ugali eh. Kaya pala kami binibigyan ng extra assignment sa mga subjects lalo na sa Physics. T_T

Sa kabila ng pagkasuklam ko dati sa section na ito, natutunan ko silang mahalin bilang tunay kong pangalawang pamilya. Maraming salamat sa kanila at naging isa akong taong confident na humarap sa mga hamon ng buhay.

Maraming salamat sa pagbibigay sa akin ng alaalang masaya. Hinding-hindi ko kayo makakalimutan.

P.S. [update]: Voting is still on! Para iboto ako, click nyo lang yung pic.

Hanapin nyo yung voting box na katulad sa pic na ito, at piliin nyo yung myturforbust. Tapos, pindutin nyo yung VOTE button at ,VOILA! Nakaboto na kayo!

Hindi ko po kayo pinipilit na iboto ako. Pero mas masisiyahan ako kung iboboto nyo ako. Sa lahat ng bumoto sakin, maraming salamat po talaga.

Misery.

2006-10-18T20:02:00.000+08:00

Hindi ko alam kung bakit kakatapos ko lang mag-celebrate ng birthday ko ay bigla nalang dumami ang masakit sakin. Una sa listahan ang aking ulo. Kapag nag-iisip kasi ako nang sobra na sa kaya ng maliit kong utak, sumasakit talaga nang husto! Lalo na kapag Fhisics at Mafthemafhics. Nararamdaman ko ang pagpintig nito sa tuwing sinusubukan kong magsolve ng mga equations sa Math. Kanina lang kamo yun.

Sinubukan kong uminom ng pain relievers para mawala yung sakit. Nawala nga nang konti pero, likod ko naman ang sumakit. Hay naku. Iinom pa sana ako ulit pero baka ma-overdose nako nyan. Misery.

Ewan ko ba. Habang tinatype ko itong entry na ito, nakasandal ako sa isang unan sa may computer chair ko para maibsan kahit papaano ang sakit sa likod ko. May baso ng tubig at limang tableta ng iba't ibang pain relievers sa harapan ko. Iinumin ko daw ito 'pag hindi ko na talaga matagalan ang sakit. Ok pa naman ako so far. Misery.

Hindi pa dun nagtatapos ang aking 'sakit'. Sakit naman sa puso ang pinoproblema ko. Hindi yung literal na sakit sa puso. Hay... oo na, suko nako. Lovelife yun.

Inaamin ko, ni minsan ay hindi pa ako nakaranas ng matinong lovelife. Puro mga crushes lang. Minsan, nakaranas na rin ako ng nagmahal ako pero hindi bumalik sakin ang pagmamahal. Itinigil ko na ang aking kahibangan at gumising nako sa katotohanan. Pero, sa isang bawal na pag-ibig kong maranasan na kung papaano magmahal nang totoo at walang pag-aalinglangan. At yun ang nagbibigay ng kakaibang kirot sa puso ko.

"Misery loves company."

Nominated ako!

2006-10-17T19:54:00.000+08:00

Hindi ko alam kung magugulat ako.

Pero nangyari na.

NOMINATED AKOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Yes, mga kapwa kong bloggers. For the first time in history, I'm nominated for Filipino Blog of the Week. Hmm... Hindi ko talaga inaasahan ito. Ok lang naman sakin kung 'di ako manalo ngayon. Ang mahalaga, naranasan ko yun. Pero, kung pwede naman,iboto nyo ako (kung may chance pa!)

Salamat sa mga bumoto sakin at sana iboto nyo pa ako ulit sa mga susunod na pagkakataon. (kung meron pa.)

Mafhemafhics and Fhisics

2006-10-16T21:30:00.001+08:00

Hay. Isang nakakadismayang araw...

Kakakuha ko lang ng resulta ng Physics exam ko. Hmm, 'wag na kayong umasa. Bagsak kasi ako. Kainis, akala ko talaga, 41 ang score ko pero, anak ng tokwa! Nabawasan pa ang score ko! Kaasar talaga! Pero, ganun talaga, minsan talaga, babagsak tayo. Pero umaasa naman ako na papasa ako muli. Haha. Parang masaya pa ako sa lagay na yun.

Punta naman tayo sa Math. Muntik na talaga akong malugmok sa kahihiyan. Biro mo, 42/80 yung score ko! Hmmm... Parang 'di nalayo sa score ko nung First Quarter. 44/80. Hell. Cool. Mula ngayon, pormal kong isinusumpa ang sakit sa puso na kung tawagin ay Mafhemafhics.

^_^

Speaking of Fhisics, trip ko lang ikwento kung paano naging hulog ng langit (at todong sakit sa utak!) ang Physics. Sisimulan ko na.

Syempre, simula muna sa unang meeting. Pagpasok ni Sir sa klasrum, tayuan agad! Takot kasi kami sa kanya (mukha ba??). Pag-upo namin, talagang ipaglandakan samin na 'I mean business' . Hmmm...Napangiwi nga ako nung narinig ko yun eh. Pagkatapos nun, nagsimula na ang kabanata ko ng kalbaryo at pasakit. At malayo pa ang Mahal na Araw. T_T

At ngayon nga, bagsak nanaman ako. Flunker nanaman. Slacker ulit. Balik ulit sa dating gawi.

Nilalangaw na.

2006-10-12T10:09:00.000+08:00

Hehe...Nakabalik na rin sa wakas! Pasensya na at ang tagal-tagal ko nang di nag-uupdate. Nagloloko kasi yung kuryente namin dahil na rin kay Milenyo. Tapos nung akala namin ayos na yung kuryente namin, ayun, pumutok! Nagmistulang fireworks display sa MoA yung kalangitan sa dami ng sparks. ^_^

Pero, balik ulit sa dating gawi.

Nagdaan ang mga araw na 'singbilis ng kidlat. Pano naman kasi, kakatapos lang ng QT exams namin last wednesday lang. Dang hirap talaga ng Math! Kakaasar kasi talagang nag-aral ako dun tapos di rin pala uubra yung pinag-aralan ko. Hindi ko nga nasagutan yung problem solving part ng exam. T_T Nahulog pa yung test na yun sa aking special *wink* day. ANG BIRTHDAY KO!!! Hay..Kakaasar talaga!

Masaya ako kasi ang daming bumati sa akin. Pati rin mga lower levels binati rin ako! ^_^ Talagang HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *winks* -_^

P.S. Sinabi sakin ni Sir Romy yung score ko sa Physics exam. Shucks, bagsak nanaman ako!!! 41/85, kakaasar talaga!!! T_T

Counter Post

2006-09-25T22:01:00.000+08:00

NOTE: This counter post is written to express the author's opinion from another point of view... For more details, see my borks galore and everything in between post. Thanks!

Well, remember how I really hated those BOrks? Yes, I thought they were the scum of the earth But what happened this morning changed everything.

I'll be writing my post in Taglish since I couldn't find the words to describe what really happened. Please bear with me if you find it quite irritating.

...

Kaninang umaga, habang naglalakad ako sa may catwalk, bigla kong nakasabay si...Ayumi (Ang BOrk Queen kuno nina Lulu). Mukhang masama ang pakiramdam nya. Ikinuwento nya sa akin na habang nagpa-check up sila, sabi sa kanya ng doktor, "You look miserable." Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o maaawa sa kalagayan nya. Iniisip ko kasi kung anong mangyayari kay Betz sa klasrum nila. Pagkaakyat, naghiwalay kami sa may second floor (sa third floor pa kasi ang room ko) pero sinabi ko na pupunta ako sa klasrum nila.

Pagdating ko sa klasrum nila, nakita ko ang todong pag-iwas ni Lulu kay Ayumi. Nadidismaya ako nung mga oras na iyon pero may nararamdaman pa kasi akong galit kaya nagkibit-balikat nalang ako. Sumama ako sa kanila papunta sa klasrum ko dahil manghihiram si Lulu ng calculator. Pagkabalik namin, dumating na si Betz. Nakita ko na hinawakan ni Ayumi si Betz at tinanong nya kung anong nangyayari. Hindi siya sumagot. Bigla nalang sila nag-usap ni Lulu at nagulat ako nang biglang hinila ako ni Ayumi papunta sa isang sulok ng klasrum para tanungin ako. Una, hindi ako makasagot kasi kinakabahan ako nang husto pero unti-unti kong sinagot ang mga tanong niya. Hindi na halos maipinta ang mukha nya.

Nagpatuloy ang estadong ito hanggang dumating ang oras ng recess. Nakita ko silang nag-aabang sa may Viewing Room 1 para sa Physics nila pero hindi ko makita roon si Ayumi. Nagpasya akong pumunta sa klasrum nila at doon ko sya nakita. Doon nya inilabas sa akin ang sama ng loob nya at ang eksplanasyon ng talagang nangyari. Doon ako nakarating sa konklusyon na parang ni hindi nila binigyan ng pagkakataon si Ayumi na makapagpaliwanag. Kaya nung lunch, umupo ako pero hindi malapit kina Ayumi o kina Betz.

...

I reached a point where in I have to weigh everything that they said and she said. I know that it's hard but it's a part of life and we can't just chuck it out of our system. I know that I also jumped into a conclusion but I realized that she too had a point. They did not give her the chance to explain her predicament.

MESSAGE TO BOTH PARTIES: Broaden your understanding of each other.
TO BETZ: Talk things over with Ayumi. Tell her what is really on your mind.
TO AYUMI: Same as betz. Talk things over. Clarify the matters that are needed to be clarified. Ask her what's going on.

The UST Experience

2006-09-24T15:18:00.000+08:00

Just came back from UST. I just had my exam there. To tell you the truth, I did find the exam easy. Here's a rundown of what happened:

6:00-Me and my mom arrived at UST. I was so lucky because the building where I was assigned(Beato Angelico Bldg.) was just by the entrance and we didn't have a hard time finding it. We waited for about 30 minutes then a voice boomed out on the megaphone, saying that we should line up.

About 6:30-I lined up and there, I met Timothy and Alexa who were also waiting in line. Then, we waited for quite some time until the line started to move. We entered the building and to my surprise, there were elevators inside. We went inside one and it took us to the 6th floor, where our rooms are located.

Upon entering our rooms, the first thing I noticed was how how cold the room was. Then, we waited (again!) for the test to start. People are slowly entering the room. Then finally, the proctor arrived. We were assigned seats by alphabetical order and I was assigned to sit by the second row, near the wall and at full blast of the aircon.

8:45 to 11:30-We had our tests. First on the list is the Mental Ability test. I find it quite easy but also average-hard because I spent too much time on some items. Next test is the English test which I think is about easy-average. Then, Math came next. It was sooooooooo EASY!!! I didn't really expect it to be that easy. I managed to fill out my scratch paper with very relevant math formulas and solutions that was so unlike me. Finally, the Science test. It was divided into 4 namely: Earth Science, Biology, Chemistry and Physics. I didn't have a problem with this test, especially with the physics part.

Assessment: I guess I really did very well in this test. Can't wait for the results! =)

BOrks Galore and Everything in Between

2006-09-23T08:37:00.000+08:00

Well, I couldn't believe that my blog is starting to sprout cobwebs. So I decided to update it today. Well, I will start by narrating the events this week. Here it is:

Saturday-I took my Ateneo College Entrance Test. I must say, the test wasn't hard. The test is divided into two parts: the proficiency and aptitude tests. The proficiency part was easy enough. Even Math was bearable. But when it came to the aptitude part, I didn't expect that it was a mix of easy and hard questions.

Sunday-Nothing much happened.

Monday-The beginning of a new week. The highlight of this day was my recent failure in Physics. As usual, I didn't pass a quiz again.

Tuesday-Same as monday. Same highlight of the day.

Wednesday-The highlight of this day was the graduation pictorial. I really looked good in my makeup and hairstyle. But I didn't look very good in my formal picture. I even thought my creative shot looked even better.

Thurday-Same as monday and tuesday. Same highlight of the day. What made it even worse was the graded recitation in Physics. I really couldn't understand it. Grrr....

Friday-This day is full of negative energy, thus full of bad vibes. First of all, I received my latest result on my last quiz in Physics. I really failed it. 2/25, can you believe that??? Well, it really ruined my day. But that wasn't the worst yet.

While we were waiting for the club session to start, Obie came to us with a very sour look in his face. He told us that he called *****, ***, ***** and ******* to go down because club was starting but they were busy playing ****-***. So we decided to start without them. We had an activity where in we will draw our priorities in life. Then, we were asked to present it to everyone. After that, Ate Yuki shared to us her own priority in life. The sharing went quite well until an incident happened, causing us to get awfully worried. After that, someone informed us that Community Service has already started. We proceeded straight to the promenade and much to our surprise and chagrin, we missed the session. They were playing team-buliding games like the game we play together with Brigitte, Obie, Lulu and Betina. So we were very disappointed because no one had informed us about it. And those people went to that session without informing us. Because of our anger and disappointment, we decided to call them Borks.

Message to the Borks: Know your priorities. Know when to stop breaking rules. Finally, know your limits.

Totoo o Peke? Ikaw ang Manghusga.

2006-09-17T13:45:00.000+08:00

Sa aking pagpapalit-palit ng channels sa TV, napunta ako sa isang palabas sa Channel 25, tungkol sa isang foreign news service na nag-feature ng isang video sa youtube ng isangkoreanong tumutugtog ng gitara. At alam nyo ba kung anong tinutugtog nya??? Syempre pa, ang Canon in D Minor ni Johann Sebastian Bach. Eto yung video, tingnan nyo nalang.

Sya ay isang korean student sa New Zealand. Wala syang balak magkaroon ng music career at eto pa, nadismaya sya sa performance nya!!!

Ok, paalam.

CISAA Preparations

2006-09-14T19:51:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the long wait...

Well, basically our school is constantly on the move to prepare for the CISAA Tournament.

Anyway, our classes, particularly in our section, 4-Ecology are disrupted because many of the cheerdancers and varsity players come from us. Well, it did cause some changes in the teaching system so most of the time, the eight remaining students in our class joins the PEP squad in practicing the cheers.

We'll be leaving for La Salle Dasma tomorrow for the opening of the said tournament.

Wish us luck!

Masakit.

2006-09-08T20:03:00.000+08:00

Masakit.

Yun ang pamagat ng post kong ito.

Oo. May major hangover parin ako sa Field Trip namin. Hindi ako masyadong nakapagpahinga kahapon. Kaya paggising ko, masakit na masakit ang mga hita ko.

Namasahe lang ako papuntang school dahil kailangan kong makahabol sa worship. Yun palang kasi yung first time kong pupunta ng maaga para dun. Gusto ko na talagang makabawi sa mga namiss kong worship services. Pero, dahil nga masakit ang mga hita ko, ang lakad ko, parang lakad ng may rayuma. Pag-akyat ko sa overpass, nararamdaman ko talaga yung sakit at mas lalo na nung pagbaba ko. Parang pinipindot ng isanglibong karayom ang mga muscles ko sa hita.

Nung pagdating ko sa Kostal, talagang di ko na kakayaning maglakad pa. Patawid na dapat ako nang biglang nakita ko si...Sir Ecko. Talagang hinabol ko sya habang patawid na sya pero mabagal ang kilos ko dahil nga sa sakit. Buti nalang, hinintay nya ako. Tapos, sumabay kami sa kotse nina Jove papuntang school. Pagdating ko, dumiretso ako papuntang klasrum. Doon ako nagdusa sa akyat-baba sa stairs. Grabe talaga ang sakit. Nung nagworship ako kanina, masaya talaga ako kasi sa wakas, nakarating na ako doon. Pero, talagang hindi ako tinigilan ng sakit.

Sa pagdaan ng oras sa paaralan, lalong sumakit ang mga hita ko. Parang di ko na talaga kakyanin ang sakit. Buti nalang, sobrang ok ang araw na ito.

Ayan, lagi ko nalang binabanggit ang salitang sakit...Kaya nga yun ang title eh!

Napagod at Nasiyahan Part II

2006-09-07T06:04:00.000+08:00

WHAT: Outbound Education Trip
WHERE: Mt. Banahaw Complex 1 (Sta. Lucia) Dolores, Quezon
WHEN: September 6, 2006

TRIVIA: Ang Mt. Banahaw ay may apat na complex:

Complex 1: Sta. Lucia (Dito kami pumunta!)
Complex 2: Kinabuhayan
Complex 3: Durungawan
Complex 4: Paraiso

Kapag aakyat tayo sa mga apat na complex na ito... Aabutin tayo ng apat na araw paakyat sa tuktok ng Durungawan at apat na araw pababa ng Paraiso...

...

Hay...Nakakapagod talaga ang araw ko kahapon. Kagagaling ko lang sa Complex 1 ng Mt. Banahaw sa Dolores, Quezon. Hayaan nyong ikwento ko ang lahat ng nangyari dun sa pinuntahan naming yun...

Sa School

Umalis kami ng school ng mga 6:30 ng umaga. Nahati ang section namin kaya kasabay nung iba samin ang IV-Physiology sa bus. Nung bago kami umalis, naglead ako ng prayer para sa safety ng trip namin at siyempre para na rin dun sa mga di nakasama. Yung mga kasabay naming facilitators: Kuya Ron, Kuya Eman, Kuya Jan, at si Ate Tina. Excited talaga ako, parang di nako makapaghintay na makapunta dun!

Sa Biyahe

Di ako masyadong makadaldal kasi sa sobrang excitement. Hanggang makarating kami sa stopover namin, lost for words parin ako. Pumunta ako sa minimart doon at bumili ng 5 na Chupa Chups lollipops. tatlo dun, cola flavor. Addict talaga no? Pero hindi ko lang alam, may silbi pala yung pagdadala ko ng lollipops sa bundok. Sasabihin ko mamaya kung bakit.

Nung umaandar na ulit kami, nadaanan namin ang isang bus na may mga estudyante rin. Kaway kami ng kaway sa kanila at kumakaway rin sila. Nung pagdating namin sa Calamba Exit, nawala na yung bus nila. Sayang, akala namin kasabay rin namin sila sa Banahaw.

Nang nasa Sto. Tomas, Batangas na kami, tumirik yung kabilang bus kasi nag-breakdown yung aircon nila. Tumawag na sila ng backup na bus pero nalaman na lang namin na ayos na ulit yung aircon nila. So tuloy ulit ang biyahe.

Binigyan kami ng aming seatwork. Ang Outbound Ed Journal. Para may maisagot kami, naglecture si Kuya Eman tapos minsan, nababanggit nya yung mga sagot dun. Pero, habang naglelecture siya, marami nang natutulog sa upuan nila. Kaya sinabi nya na pwede kaming matulog ng 10 minutes. Nung makakatulog na ako, sobrang tahimik ng paligid. Nung bigla akong nagising, tahimik parin. Ang peaceful talaga. Tapos, ginising kami ng boses ni Kuya Eman at tinuloy niya ulit yung lecture. Halos hindi ako nakikinig dahil na rin sa sobrang antok at excitement sa kung ano ang naghihintay samin dun.

Nung malapit na kami sa site, ayan, empake na ng dadalhing mga gamit. Nagpahid ako ng sunblock at OFF! Lotion kasi una, mainit ang panahon at pangalawa, jurassic ang mga lamok doon. Nung pagbaba namin, hirap na hirap ako sa pagdadala ng lunch box ko dahil sobrang bigat nun talaga. Naglakad na kami papunta sa Spiritual Filipino Catholic Church at doon kami nag-stretching at nag-CR. Pagkatapos nun, tumulak na kami papunta sa bundok.

Sa Bundok

Iniwan namin ang mga gamit namin sa may parang talipapa tapos, bumaba na kami sa parang hagdan doon. mahirap bumaba dahil hindi talaga proportional yung mga steps at minsan, hindi pa kasya ang paa ko dun. Nang makababa na kaming lahat sa hagdan, pumunta ka kami sa Talon ng Buhok ng Ina.

Sa talon, naligo kami dun isa-isa. Nung ako na yung maliligo, tumingala ako nang nakabukas ang bibig at nakainom ako ng maraming tubig. Inisip ko kung malinis yung tubig dun sa talon at buti nalang, malinis yun. Masarap kasi yung lasa ng tubig, daig pa ang mineral water. Pagkatapos naming maligo sa talon, dun naman kami sa Ilog Laslas o ang tinatawag nilang "Jordan River." Lumusong kaming lahat sa tubig at nagdasal kami ng mga kahilingan namin tapos, lumubog kami ng tatlong beses sa tubig. Ang sarap talaga doon. Pagkatapos nun, umakyat na kami ulit sa hagdan pabalik sa talipapa. Pagkapahinga doon, tumulak na kami papunta sa 'gate' ng Mt. Banahaw. Nang makarating na kami doon, naglecture ulit nang konti si Kuya Eman saka kami pumasok doon.

Una naming narating ang Prisintahan. Ito ay isang pwesto o shrine sa Mt. Banahaw, tulad ng Talon ng Buhok ng Ina, at ng Ilog Laslas. Ito ay sumisimbolo sa Aklat ng Buhay. Kapag pumirma daw kami sa batong iyon, matatala daw ang mga pangalan namin sa langit. Sinulat namin yung mga surname namin sa bato at tumulak na kami patungong Husgado. Sa pag-akyat namin papunta dun, kailangan kong ibato pataas yung lunch box kong mabigat para makaakyat ako nang maayos. Buti nalang ginawa ang lunch box kong iyon para ibato kung saan-saan. Sa wakas, nakarating na kami sa Husgado, pero bago yun, kumain muna kami ng tanghalian. Pagkatapos, pumunta kami sa isang shed para magtanggal ng sapatos tapos pumunta na kami sa crack.

Bago kami pumasok sa crack, nagdasal muna kaim. Humingi kami ng kapatawaran sa mga kasalanan namin. Tapos, isa-isa na kami pumasok sa loob.

**Ang Crack

Pagpasok ko sa loob ng crack, pumasok talaga sa isip ko na hindi ako kakasya sa loob kasi hirap na hirap ako dumaan sa mga chambers nito.

Nung makarating ako sa pangalawang chamber, dun na ako naghirap ng husto. Una, pinulikat ang kaliwang paa ko. Pangalawa, dahil sa bigat ko, nahirapan akong itulak ang sarili ko paabante. Nung makalampas ako, akala ko tapos na pero hindi pala. Meron pang isang chamber na kung saan, kailangan ko talagang iaangat ang katawan ko at umabante pataas. Tinulungan pa ako ng facilitator namin para lang makaakyat doon. Akala ko ulit, tapos na ang paghihirap ko. Pero hindi parin.

Narating ko na ang huling pagsubok. Kailangan ko ulit iangat ang katawan ko paitaas tapos parang kabayo ang usad ko paabante. Dito talaga ako naghirap. Natagalan ako dito nang husto. buti nalang, hinila ako ni Kuya pataas kaya nakaakyat ako pataas at sa wakas, nakita ko na ang liwanang. Paglabas ko sa crack, may nakuha akong mga gasgas.

**

Habang hinihintay naming lumabas sa cave yung iba naming mga kasama, nagpahinga muna kami. Iniisip ko yung tungkol sa mga diskarteng ginawa ko sa loob ng crack. Doon ko naranasan ang paghihirap at yun ang nagpagising sa konsensya ko. Desidido na akong umakyat sa Kalbaryo kahit mahirap pa ang daan.

Nagsimula kaming umakyat ng Kalbaryo at ito na ang pinakanakakapagod na parte ng paglalakbay namin. Halos nahuhuli nako dahil narin sa pagod. Mabuti nalang bago pa ako mapagod nang husto, narating ko na yung tuktok. Pagkatapos naming magdasal, bumaba na kami ng bundok.

Sa Bus Pauwi

Sa bus, sumabay samin si Kuya Bidz. Nalaman namin na Tadjock pala sya sa Wazzup! Wazzup! (Think: Wallace) Grabe, nakakatawa talaga sya! Niloloko nga nya ako kagabi kasi tinanong nya kung sino daw yung "You're Here" sa t-shirt ko. Nahiya talaga ako nang husto at tinago ko yung shirt sa jacket ko. Kumanta pa nga sya ng kanta eh.. Grabe!

***

Sa Banahaw nakakakita ng maraming secta. Pero ang mga mamamayan ng bundok Banahaw ang nagpakita samin ng isang aral: Talagang masisipag ang mga Pilipino. Kailangan itama natin ang viewpoint natin sa kasaysayan.

Hanggang sa muli.

Sa Wakas!! Yahoo...

2006-09-02T17:41:00.000+08:00

After ten years, Wi-fi nako! Matagal ko na kasing kinukulit yung tatay ko na mag-Wi-fi na kami kasi sobrang mahal na talaga ng bill namin sa telepono. Grabe, after 3 months, nakuha ko na gusto ko...Kaya makakapag-update nako palagi. Kwento nalang kaya ako ng mga happenings ngayon...

Thursday-Bigayan na ng card. Grabe, pagkakita ko sa grades ko, ang sarap itanong sa sarili ko, "Saang lupalop kaya ako galing at parang nagtaka pa ako sa kinalabasan ng grades ko???" Parang umaasa naman ako na matataas yung mga yun no? Well, ok naman, wala paring line of 7 at wala paring PTC (although alam ko next quarter meron na, sa Physics.) pero sa tingin ko, parang sinaniban ako ng ispirito ng katamaran kaya nagkaganon grades ko. Well, marami pa namang factors, isa na dun ang...*SECRET!* Well, naiinis ako kasi mas mataas ang Physics ko kaysa sa math. Hay.

Friday-Ok naman. Nung homeroom, naglaro kami ng isang laro na kailangan talaga ng teamwork at strategy para manalo. Ano nga pala tawag dun? Ah, Rapids pala. Sa isang group na may 10 members, magkakapit-kapit kayo at bubuo ng wave para patawirin ang mga sapatos namin sa kabilang side. Nung first trial, nanalo kami (iniitsa nga namin yung mga sapatos eh!) pero nung seryoso na ang game, 3rd nalang kami. Ok lang, kasi malinis na yung laro namin sa pangalawa. Well, nakuha ko na ang mga resulta ng aking Mock Interview. Pang #25 ako out of 86. Hindi talaga ako makapaniwala, parang isang himala ang nangyaring yun. Siguro nga, mabait talaga sakin yung nag-interview kaya pinasa ako. Hmmm. Nakuha ko na rin test permit ko sa Ateneo. Well, wala akong makakasama kasi magkakaiba talaga kami ng test venues. Mabuti yan para walang cheating. Hehe.

Hindi ata ako makakasama sa YFC Sports Fest sa Tagaytay...Marami kasi akong kailangang tapusin at poproblemahin..Baka naman kasi pag pumunta ako dun, parang wala rin ako dun kakaisip sa mga yun. Sorry talaga LORD GOD... T_T Babawi po ako! Hindi po kasi ako makakapagserve nang maayos kung problemado ako..Sa tulong nyo, maayos ko rin ito..Salamat!

Tagged. Again.

2006-08-29T19:00:00.000+08:00

Tagged nanaman ako! Eto yung mechanics:

Once tagged by this entry, write a blog entry of some kind with six random facts about yourself. In the end of it, pick six of your friends and tag them! (No tag backs). This explanation must be included, of course.

1. Nung bata pa ako, hindi ako naniwala sa power of friendship. Isang tao pa lang ang nagpakita sakin nun. Pero patay na sya eh. T_T

2. Loner ako. Lagi ko gustong mapag-isa.

3. Mahilig akong magbasa. Walang araw na wala akong binabasang libro.

4. Hindi nyo alam, makwento talaga ako at sobrang daldal ko pa.

5. Mahilig ako sa Game of the Generals. Nakaka dalawang Gold Medals nako dahil dun.

6. Lagi akong nagmamadali sa pag-ibig. Kaya nagdusa ako nang husto. T_T

I'll tag:

Rizza Lulu Celena Yanna Mara Betina

Napagod at Nasiyahan

2006-08-27T13:46:00.000+08:00

WHAT: YFC Mega Camp
WHERE:BPS-Silang, Cavite
WHEN: Aug. 25-27, 2006

Hay...Sa wakas at nakauwi nako sa bahay! Galing kasi ako sa YFC Mega Camp sa BPS Silang. Sobrang saya talaga ng pakiramdam lalo na pag natupad mo na ang pinakamimithi mo sa pagiging YFC-ang maging parte ng YOUTH Camp Service team. Kwento ko lang yung mga pangyayari before and after mag-camp.

Friday-Pagkagaling ko sa school, nag-online muna ako. Tapos, umalis nako sa bahay ng mga 3:30 ng hapon. Sumakay ako ng dyip, kaya lang...ang nasakyan ko pala, hindi dadaan sa Walter Mart Dasma. Kaya sumakay ako ulit ng dyip pero hindi pala dadaan sa tapat ng Walter Mart. Naglakad pa tuloy ako hanggang sa entrance at buti nalang, nandoon pa sila. Sumakay kami sa mga dyip na dinala kami sa BPS. Nakapunta nako dun kaya ayos lang.

Pagkalagay namin ng gamit, nagpunta kami sa isang bakanteng lote para mag-worship. Pagkatapos nun, pumunta kami ng session hall para makinig ng Talk 1 pero bago nun, naglaro kami ng bahay, baboy, bagyo. Pero eto ang masaklap. Kumain na kami ng dinner ng mga 10 na ng gabi. Biro mo, gutom na gutom ka na talaga tapos, malilipasan ka rin. Pero since service team ako, hindi ako nakakain agad. Pagkatapos kumain, binigay na ang mga room assignments. Hindi ko nga expected na may kwarto pa ako eh. Kasama ko sa kwarto sina Jannylin, Eds na taga Dasmarinas National High School, si Kat mula sa Tagaytay Science National High School, at si Anna, na ka-schoolmate ko, at kapatid ng bestfriend ko.

Tapos, meeting na ng service team. Nasita kami kasi hindi pa ganap yung nagawa naming serbisyo sa camp. Sinabi sa amin na kailangang magpursigi pa kami sa pagseserve sa camp kasi sabi nga nila, "Dati, nung kayo ang participants, kayo ang pinagsisilbihan, ngayon, kayo naman ang magsisilbi sa mga participants."

Tapos, hindi pa ako agad natulog. Nag-usap pa kami ni Kat hanggang ala-una ng madaling araw. Tapos, natulog na ako.

Saturday-Nagising ako ng sobrang aga. 3:00 AM. Grabe, nalaman ko lang na wala pang gising nung mga oras na yun kaya natulog ako ulit ng saglit. Nagising ako ng mga 3:45 ng umaga. Dahil nga sa ingay na nagawa ko, nagising na rin si Kat saka si Anna. Naligo na ako saka nagbihis. Mga 6:00 ng umaga, nagpunta kaming Service Team sa session hall para mag-morning worship. Marami na samin ang nakaligo na pero marami ring di pa nakaligo lalo na sa mga lalake. Tapos, sinabi na kung sino ang mga facilitators. Kasama ako ni Kat sa pagiging faci. Grabe ang saya na naramdaman ko nun. Sa wakas, natupad ko na yung pangarap ko. Pinangako ko sa sarili ko na tutuparin ko ang tungkulin ko ng mabuti. Tapos, pumunta na kami sa dining room para tumulong sa paghahanda ng pagkain.

Nagsimula na yung Talk Two. Wala nanaman ako ulit dun kasi nag-prayer warrior ako kasama ni Jove at ni Neil V. Pagkatapos, nagmeeting ang lahat ng facilitators para sa group discussion at one-to-one sessions. Tapos, bumalik ako sa session hall. Tapos na yung Talk Two. Tapos, nagsimula yung group discussions. Marami kaming na-share na experiences sa discussion namin. Tapos, nagsimula yung Talk Three. Habang nangyayari yung talk, parang nakaramdam ako ng kakaibang lungkot. Ewan, parang nalungkot ako na parang may namatay samin. Tapos, nung tinugtog yung I Give My All na kanta, naiyak nalang ako sa isang sulok. Biglang tinanong ako ni Dyanne kung ok lang ako. Tapos, biglang umiyak nalang ako ng malakas. Nagulat nga sila na nangyari eh. Akala ni Kimchi na kasalanan nya yung nangyari. May bigla akong naalala dun sa kanta na hindi ko maintindihan. Kung tutuusin, lagi ko namang kinakanta yun pero, wala namang nangyaring ganun sakin. Ngayon lang talaga yun nangyari. Tapos, unting-unti ako kumalma. Nagpunta ako sa dining room na namumugto ang mga mata. Pagkatapos kumain ng mga participants, kumain na rin ako mag-isa. Pagkatapo kumain, pumunta ako sa kwarto para makipag-uasp kay Kat tungkol sa plano sa one-to-one sessions. Tapos, nung nagawa na namin yung plano, pinababa namin yung mga "alaga" namin sa lobby para maghintay ng turn nila.

Nung natapos yung session, pumunta kami ulit sa session hall para magmiryenda ng mais. Tapos, nagpractice kami para sa E-Nyt. Band workshop ang sinalihan ko. Yung mga kagrupo ko, taga Dasmarinas National High School lahat. Ako lang ang taga-Seton kaya na-OP ako dun pero ayos lang, kasi mabait silang lahat. Nakasundo ko sila agad. Pagkatapos ng practice, tinawag kami para mag-worship ulit habang nagaganap yung talk four. Nung nagworship kami nun, nakaramdam ako ng pagsisisi kasi sa mga bagay na pinabayaan ko para lang gawin ang gusto ko, at yung YFC ay kasama sa mga pinabayaan ko.

Pagkatapos ng worship, nagprepare kami para sa prayover session. Kinabahan talaga ako nun pero ok naman ang naging takbo ng session dahil kay GOD. Pagkatapos, nakaramdam ako ng kakaibang feeling ng contentment. Na parang wala na akong mahihiling pa. Pagkatapos nun, kumain na kami ng hapunan at pagkatapos ay dumiretso kami sa session hall para sa artificial bonfire namin.

Pagkatapos ay E-Nyt na. Grabe, nakakatuwa yung mga performances naming lahat..Lalo na yung Gag workshop. Yung tungkol sa sabon.

Tapos nun, nagmeeting uli ang service team at napuri kami sa mga nagawa namin...Hay salamat!

Tapos, natulog na ako ulit. Pero medyo maaga. Mga 12:05 AM.

Sunday-Tinanghali ako ng gising. Mas maaga ang call time ng mga Service Team pag umaga. Nagisiing ako ng 5:55 AM. Nagulat ako nung nalaman ko yung oras. Eh, gusto ko na sanang maligo kaya lang, marami nang tao sa banyo kaya pumunta ako sa session hall na naka pantulog lang. First time yun nangyari sakin sa camp pero ok lang pala yun. Pagkatapos ng morning worship, nagpunta ako sa banyo para maligo agad kasi nakatoka akong tagahugas ng pinggan. Pagkapaligo ko, binaba ko yung mga gamit ko tapos pumunta nako sa dining room para tumulong sa service team doon. Kumain na ako agad ng agahan para makahugas na ako agad. Pagkakain, hugas na ng mga pinggan. Ang sarap palang maghugas.

Bumalik ako ng session hall para sa talk 5. Pero hidi ko narinig lahat kasi may ginagawa akong importante nun. Nagtatraffic aide kami ni Benedict nun. Grabe, ang hirap ng trabaho namin. Nagkwentuhan kami at nabanggit nya na natutukso syang bumili ng sigarilyo pero nalabanan nya ang tukso. hanga talaga ako sa kanya.

...SECRET!...

Bumalik ako sa BPS para sa closing worship. Pagkatapos, kumain ako ng Goto at pagkakain, umuwi na ako.

...

Marami akong natutunan sa tatlong araw na pamamalagi ko sa BPS. Pero ito ang tumatak sa isip ko, "Sa paglilingkod natin, isipin natin na hindi yun para sa ating sarili, para yun sa DIYOS."

OK Lang Naman

2006-08-24T19:31:00.000+08:00

At natapos ang isang araw.

Napagod ako ng husto ngayong araw na ito. Nagalakad ako ng naglakad papunta sa mga museo na ginawa ng mga estudyante sa Mataas na Paaralan. Tumulong pa ako sa pagsasaayos ng aming sariling museo. Hay... Kakapagod talaga. T_T

Sa paglalakad ko, marami akong mga bagay na naalala. Una kasi, huling AP Day na namin kaya talagang sineryoso namin yung pagdisenyo ng aming museo. Nagkaroon pa nga kami ng minus points dahil sinet-up na namin agad yung mga mesa. Sabi nga ni Drex eh, "Kaya tayo naminusan para hindi magkaroon ng Landslide Victory." Ang optimistic talaga niya.

Nung nagbukas ang lahat ng mga museo sa publiko, naglibot kami kasama si Ms. Jham, ang class adviser namin. Talagang desidido ang lahat na manalo. Patalbugan talaga ng mga exhibit at palamuti sa museo. Grabe, talagang nag-enjoy ako sa paglilibot. Sayang nga lang, konti lang ang nakuha kong souvenirs pero ok lang yun. At least nag-enjoy ako.

Tuloy ulit sa alaala. Huli naming pinuntahan yung museo namin. Biro mo, kailangan pa namin ng ticket sa pagpasok. Eh, marami na palang may ticket na pero di pa ring makapasok kaya sila muna yung pinapasok namin. Huli na kami pumasok sa loob at sa wakas, nakita na namin kung paano nila pinresent yung museo namin sa mga tao. Pagkatapos, pinanood na namin sa huling pagkakataon yung video. Puro kaming papicture dun sa loob na parang hindi na kami magkikita-kita ulit. Tapos, paglabas namin, nagulat bigla si Ms. Jham nang may Grade Five palang pumasok kasama namin. Nasabi nga nya eh, "Eh sino ka naman???" Nakakahiya tuloy, kasi nagpapicture kami dun, nandun pala sila, nanonood. Hehe. Nagpapicture din kami sa labas ng klasrum namin. Tapos, biglang sumigaw si Aimee, "Huling AP Day na natin!" Sigawan naman kami, tapos biglang bumwelta si Drex, "Eh, gagraduate naman ba tayo???" Natawa talaga kami dun sa sinabi nya. Ayan, picture-picture. Matatanggal na ata mukha ko bukas. Haha.

Mawawala nga pala ako ng mga ilang araw...YFC Mega Camp na kasi. Kailangan ko na kasing bumawi, hindi na ako nakaka-attend ng mga gatherings eh...Saka hindi pa ako nagpapa-covenant. Kahit hindi sila sumama, buo na ang pasya ko dahil alam ko sa sarili ko, na nandun ako para pagsilbihan ang Panginoong Diyos.

Toodles nalang sa inyo! Kita-kits nalang!

Hay...KAMPISE Fever at ang Nakakapagtaka...

2006-08-22T17:06:00.000+08:00

Hay...Tapos na ang KAMPISE pero hindi ko parin makalimutan ang saya ng itiniuturing kong huling KAMPISE. In fairness, kinareer ko ang costume ko ngayon, parang hahabol ako sa kasal sa sobrang bongga ng suot ko! Naging finalist pa ako ng Best Costume sa 4th Year pero sayang, di nanalo. Pero ok lang yun, kasi naramdaman ko ang saya na hindi ko pa naramdaman mula nang ginawa yang KAMPISE sa school. Grade Four pa ako nun. Sayang kasi hindi ko man lang nakunan ang sarili ko na suot ang costume na yun. Hay. Yung iba kasi, todo-papicture na parang matatanggal na ang mukha kinabukasan. Hahaha.

...

Minsan, kapag matagal na kayong magkaibigan ng isang tao, lalo na kapag "opposite sex," may posibilidad na madevelop sila sa isa't isa. Oo. Marami akong kilalang ganyan ang naging istorya. Pero ito ang nagiging problema. Kadalasan ay naguguluhan ang taong nasabihan ng pag-ibig. Mas talamak ito sa kaso ng mga babae at ito ang kadalasang nagiging sanhi ng sawing pag-ibig. Hay. Pero marami paring umaasa. Marami pa ring naghihintay sa wala.

...

Nakakahinayang ang isang pagkakaibigang nasira. May posibilidad kasing hindi na ito mabalik. Pero ano nga ba ang kadalasang dahilan? Oo, alam nating may mga bagay na hindi nating gusto sa isang tao na nais na nating mabago sa kanila. Oo, pagod na nga ang magkabilang panig. Pero hanggang kailan?

...

Iiwanan ko kayo ng isang kanta mula sa APO na nirevive ng Spongecola. Nakakapagtaka.

Nakapagtataka
by Apo Hiking Society
Revived by: Spongecola

Walang tigil ang gulo sa aking
pag-iisip
Mula nang tayo'y nagpasyang
maghiwalay
Nagpaalam pagkat hindi tayo bagay
Nakapagtataka, oh.

Kung bakit ganito ang a-king
kapalaran
Di ba't ilang ulit ka nang
nagpaalam
At bawat paalam ay puno ng iyakan
Nakapagtataka, nakapagtataka

Chorus:
Hindi ka ba napapagod,
o di kaya'y nagsasawa
Sa ating mga tampuhang
walang hanggang katapusan
Napahid na ang mga luha,
damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala nang maibubuga,
wala na 'kong maramdaman.

Bridge:
Kung tunay tayong
nagmamahalan
Ba't di tayo magkasunduan
Oh, oh.
Walang tigil ang ulan
at nasaan ka, araw
Napano na'ng pag-ibig sa isa't
isa
Wala na bang nananatiling pag-asa
Nakapagtataka, saan ka napunta?

Hindi ka ba napapagod,
o di kaya'y nagsasawa
Sa ating mga tampuhang
walang hanggang katapusan
Napahid na ang mga luha,
damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala nang maibubuga,
wala na 'kong maramdaman.oohh

Napahid na ang mga luha,
damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala nang maibubuga,
wala na 'kong maramdaman.
Kung tunay tayong
nagmamahalan
Ba't di tayo magkasunduan
Oh, oh.

Hanggang dito nalang.

WOW Naman!!! FF7-MTG Cards!

2006-08-20T17:11:00.000+08:00

Habang nag-YM ako kagabi at walang magawa, nakita ko itong Deviantart Gallery na ito. Hmm, nagulat ako dun sa nakita ko...FF7-Magic the Gathering cards! Sana totoo nalang sila...Ito yung mga favorites ko:

Marami pa ako nakuha kaya lang, corrupted sila. Salamat kay altairabove.

Bye!

P.S. Hindi ko pa pala nasasabi na nagpalit na pala kami ng upuan sa klasrum. Nandun nako sa may unahan, malayo na sa dati kong upuan kasi yung dati kong upuan, malapit na sa labas ng klasrum. Hay, miss ko na yung upuan ko dati...Pero ok lang kasi medyo malapit na ako sa blackboard at hindi na mahirap tumingin. At nanghihinayang lang ako sa isang nasirang pagkakaibigan...Oy! Alam nyo kung sino kayo! Alam ko na mabigat yung dahilan kung bakit...Sana magkaliwanagan na kayo...

Hmmm...Ganyan Talaga...

2006-08-18T20:27:00.000+08:00

So ganun talaga ang buhay.

Hmmm.

Medyo ok naman ang takbo ng araw ngayon. Hindi naman kagandahan, hindi rin kapangitan. Basta, ok ang araw ko ngayon at yun na yun.

Gumawa kami ng mga banderitas sa school. Parte kasi yun ng celebration ng Linggo ng Wika. In fairness, ang bilis namin gumawa. Saka pulido pa ang paggawa. Medyo hindi ko makakaila na medyo may mali rin pero ok lng. Saka, binigay yung quiz sa Physics kanina. Kamote talaga ako dun. Biro nyo, 0 o itlog ang nakuha ko. Pero nagulat ako kasi hindi man lang ako nag-react ng violent sa score ko. Baka kasi sanay na ako na makakita ng mababang grade lalo na sa Physics.

Hay.

Elimination kanina ng mga kasali sa Maluwag na Talumpati. lahat, kanya-kanyang opinyon at saloobin. Pero may speech ako na natuwa ako kasi kahit nakakatawa sya, may 'sense' pa rin ang mga sinasabi nya. Si Kimchi yun.

Nanood din kami ng High School Musical kanina. In fairness, yun ang first time ko. Ang gwapo talaga ni Troy Bolton! Ang galing din ni Gabriella! Sana mapanood ko na ng buo kasi puro Fast Forward. Palibhasa, napanood na nila. Figures.

Nung club, naglaro lang kami ng Mafia. Grabe, ang saya namin eh...Saka nakakatawa kasi yung mafia namin, gustong patayin sarili nya. Kaya hindi agad natapos yung laro.

Hey, may TRO pala ako sa pag-iinternet. So, byebye na!

Endless, a Silent Whisper

2006-08-16T20:35:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...Natapos nanaman ang isang araw. Mukhang ok naman ang araw na ito..Kasi maraming nangyari na masaya...Una kasi, hindi ako nakapag balik-aral sa AP. Tapos, nung Physics, nakakatawa talaga yung kwento sa amin ni Sir Romy! Grabe, as in tawa ako to the max! Nakalimutan ko na yung tungkol sa bagsak kong quiz kanina... Pero ok lang yun! Babawi nalang ako next time! ^_^

Iiwanan ko kayo ng isang kanta mula sa Urbandub. Endless, a Silent Whisper.

Endless, A Silent Whisper
Artist: Urbandub
Album: Embrace

The night belongs to us
We're caught in a world of our own
We cling to the hope it would change for us
Is it vain? Is it too late?
Why did it have to be you than I?
I heard the news today

[Chorus]
Is this the beginning of our last chance?
Once around the floor, can we do it again
I feel the thrill from words we say
I love you

Embrace so much tighter
This could be our last together
Heaven sheds tears for the wounded hearts
Our forever has been torn apart

Our vast religions
Won't help us answer
What was pre-destined for us to have
Since long ago
It's hopeless

The world it turns with us
Hold me in closer, don't let go of me
Now we close our eyes and let go to the night
The night we feel alive

(Repeat Chorus)

Paalam sa inyong lahat!

Ewan ko...Parang Wala Ako Dito...

2006-08-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

Sa wakas! Ito ang una kong post sa wikang filipino...Malapit na kasi ang Linggo ng Wika kaya naisipan kong magpost gamit ito. Kailangan ko lng magkwento ng konti...Hmmm...

English Time-Medyo wala namang nangyaring kakaiba. Ako kasi si Gunther para sa Picture Perfect ng The Nibelungenlied. Umarte lang ako na pinatay ko yung kalaban tapos pinatay ni Juan, este Siegfried yung kalaban ko. Oks, di ba?

TLE-Naku, natawa ako ng husto dyan! Kasi ba naman, sabi sa amin ni Ms. Malou, nagbenta sya ng grape seed extract capsules sa isang matanda tapos, nung uminom daw yung matanda, nawala daw yung wrinkles nya! At ito pa, sabi nya sinubukan din nya yun at presto! Pagpunta nya sa kanyang dermacologist(dermatologist pala!), ay nawala na ang mga pekas nya! o ha! San pa kayo? Tapos, walang magawa si Juan, kinompute niya ang kikitain ni Ms. Malou sa marketing sa buong taon. At eto ang lumabas...Wah! Basta 12, figure income yun...Hindi pa kami nagdeduct ng tax. Grabe...

A.P.-Medyo nakakalungkot, kasi natalo kami agad sa game. Hmm...Ok na sana kung hindi lang sumigaw si Riel ng...Ukraine!!!

Physics-Hmm..Gumawa kami ng SW kanina at alam kong, kamote ako dun. Bukod kasi sa mali ang FBD (Free Body Diagram) ko, mali pa pati solution. Hay naku, kung bakit naman kasi...Hmmm, basta ok naman yung nangyari sa discussion nain kanina tungkol sa types of equilibrium...Natuwa talaga ako!

Math-Hmmm...Ok naman yung lesson..Pero kasi, mahirap siya kasi maraming gagawing kung ano-ano para makuha yung sagot...Pero ok lng, 0.5 na lang, exempted nako sa susunod na quiz! ^_^

So, yan lahat yung nangyari...Hmmm..Cge, Paalam!

Turning 1 Year Old...

2006-08-13T15:23:00.000+08:00

Hey...My blog just turned one!!! Actually, I only started blogging last November, but I am celebrating the time when I was incorporated into Blogger...I am so grateful that I actually reached this time..I have always thought of shutting this blog ever since my last outage. But I thank GOD that I survived...

Anyway, Physics is getting harder than ever...We are now discussing something about seesaws in equilibrium...I really understood it but when an example about tapered poles was discussed, I totally freaked out! I really don't know how to solve it...But I managed to solve it using a different method. I miraculously passed the exam in Physics...I don't know how I managed but I was genuinely happy that my efforts did not go to waste. I am glad that I didn't get a failing grade in all the exams...^_^

I think I need to do something...I'll go check 'round about later...Bye!

Dante's Inferno Test

2006-08-12T09:05:00.000+08:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Basically, I was banished to the seventh level of hell...Click the link to Level 7 to see what kind of hell it is...

The UPCAT Experience

2006-08-06T18:05:00.000+08:00

Hmmm....I just had my UPCAT today and all I can say is...I don' know what to say! All I know that it's pretty much difficult...Especially the Science and Math parts...As for Language proficiency and reading Comprehension, it's quite easy. Haha, it's really easy...dunno about Science and Math though...

Anyway, it's 60 items for Math and Science and 90 items for reading comprehension and 85 for Language Proficiency... Hmmm....

So there, it's done. I hope I'll pass it. But I only have a 50-50 chance I guess.

P.S. While waiting for our turn to enter the College of Architecture building, I saw this girl, texting. I don't know why, but everytime I set my eyes on her, I feel kind of...I dunno. Annoyed? Was it because her cellphone was so BIG? Or because I know that she will also take the test? Hmmm...And by the way, her name's Dan. Hmmm...

Tagged.

2006-08-05T17:15:00.001+08:00

I was tagged by Christine. Here are the mechanics:

Instructions: Name ten(10) of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick ten(10) people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.

1. LOVING FAMILY- Without them, I am not here. They have always supported me in what I want to do. Without them, I have nowhere to go in this life.

2. GOD UP ABOVE- You have always looked after me and I thank You Lord, for doing so.

3. FRIENDS- My fans. Haha... Joke, they are my Guardian Angels personified.

4. MUSIC- Is the air I breathe. Yes.

5. BOOKS- Without them, I'll be an empty shell forever.

6. TEACHERS- The potters of their clay(students).

7. AIR- Without it, I'll die.

8. FOOD- Same reason as Number 7.

9. WATER- Same reason as Number 7 and 8.

and last but not the least,

10. INTERNET- Hmmm...Guess why.

I'll Tag:
Karmi
Jessa
Fiel
Justine
Janpol
Jonnazel
Nagi
Ayra
Vanny
Celena

...

I just watched Sukob today, and all I can say is...

Dunno. The movie watchers were too OA. Shouts and screams were all I heard there. Well, it's pretty scary but I guess there's nothing to be scared about though.

Disturbing Signs

2006-08-04T12:56:00.000+08:00

Last night, I dreamed that I was slowly losing blood. I saw the tube with my blood flowing freely on it. I was about to close my eyes in that dream when suddenly, my sister woke me up. I woke up and sat with a start.

I told a lot of people about my dream. They told me that it is somewhat morbid. I began to feel nervous. Maybe the dream wants to tell me something. When i got home, I searched the net for the meaning. And here it is:

Meaning of Dreams about Blood

Blood Dream Meaning Psychological meaning: Blood is a symbol of life. If you dream of losing blood then you may be suffering from exhaustion or feel emotionally drained by a situation. Blood can also symbolise passion, especially love, anger or even violence. Women sometimes dream of blood at the start of their menstruation.

Blood Dream Meaning Mystical meaning: In many ancient rituals the participants would drink the blood of the sacrificial animal. This represented sharing in the power and strength of the gods. Similarly, to dream of drinking blood may be a grizzly symbol for receiving new vitality.

Hidden Meaning of Dreams by author Craig Hamilton-Parker. Dream interpretation for Blood Dream Meaning Symbol is Copyright

I agree with the psychological meaning. I really feel drained because of what's happening with me. I had to balance school with my other priorities. And I had to think about my endless problems which don't seem to leave me. I guess I have to relax a little bit. As with the mystical meaning, I sort of agree with it too. I really feel quite energetic this day and it was totally different for me.

Well, I guess there will be more weirder dreams coming soon...

Recovered.

2006-08-02T19:32:00.000+08:00

Finally! I recovered from the Wordpress frame-up! Wahahaha...I had this terrible brush with Wordpress and it deliberately wiped away my template! Hehe, It took me five seconds for me to realize that I'm dead beat. Anyway, I was surfing the net and I found this wonderful layout with a FLASH header. It was so cute, I had to get it. And finally, I'm back again. I am sorry for the inconvenience that this small incident caused. Put me back to your links list please! =)

I am currently having my Quarterly exams. We had Filipino, Araling Panlipunan, and Computer for this day. I had a breeze with the first two subjects. But when I had the Computer test, it was a TOTAL DISASTER!!! I forgot some of the items! And I forgot to put the finishing touches for my Pseudocode! Well anyway, I don't expect a passing grade in that subject though. I'll just do better in English and Math tomorrow. T_T

This coming Sunday, I will be taking my UPCAT. And I got the early schedule, 6:30 AM, College of Architecture building. I am so excited and nervous. I hope that I'll be able to pass the exam. \m/

Wish me luck! ^_^

The Calm Storm and A Cup of Coffee

2006-07-25T08:30:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...This is the second day that I don't have classes. I'm getting so restless now...The submission of the Ateneo Forms is tomorrow and I haven't finished it yet! Hmmm...I guess it's the weather's fault...I can't blame it though, it's just doing its job.

Anyway, I placed a Get Firefox! button on my site. I want all of you to get Firefox and experience its superiority over Internet Explorer. But I guess, we can't blame those who coded their layouts for IE users. We always have to make adjustments though. But don't think I'm forcing you to get Firefox. it's just that we want all of you to see for yourselves what it can do.

The weather's still all bad and all...I drank a mug of the following drinks: Nesvita, Milo, Coffee, Ricoa Hot Chocolate...Haha, at least my stomach's not upset..The last time I did that, something wrong happened...NVM about that though...

Untill next post everyone!

Something Amiss

2006-07-21T20:57:00.000+08:00

Well, honestly I need to work doubly hard though( and to death too!) because next week will be the week before the Quarterly Exams...And the UPCAT will be on August 5-6. That only means that the YFC Mega Camp will be rescheduled. I am still not a true YFC Member because I still don't have my Covenant Orientation...I do wish I am a bonafide member of YFC.

I also need to finish writing the personal essay for Ateneo and have it proofread by Ms. Jham... Why does Ateneo have to change its deadline? Instead of August 18, the deadline's been moved to August 4 and we need to submit the requirements by July 26, Wednesday. Which means to say, Ms. Jham, my English teacher, will have only 2 days to check my work. I also need to work on my DLSU-Dasma Application Form...It's needed next week.

I also need to work on my journals for Filipino and English and research for articles in Math...And I need to work doubly hard in Physics. I remember that I have 3 passed quizzes and 1 failed quiz. I always fail my homework...I wonder why...

As Sir Romy, my Physics teacher has said,
"Kalimutan nyong magakakaibigan kayo dito. Kailangang magtrabaho kayo mabuti."

Recovering From A Losing Slump

2006-07-18T23:17:00.000+08:00

I am currently recovering from a lot of losing slumps...

Anyway, I am so happy that a lot of people have stumbled across my blog. It's really grat to have lots of traffic, and it's quite fulfilling. My tagboard's full of people wanting to exchange links with me and people who answered my Link Exchange call.

Back to losing slumps...

As I mentioned in one of my older posts, I am recovering from a losing slump in Physics...I always fail my homework, and I feel so bad about it. But when I passed a really difficult quiz (20/30), I was so thrilled! And quizzes make up 30% of our components! (HW only makes up 5% of the components) so that's a cool recovery. My teacher, Sir Romy, said that we need to work hard to get a grade of 79 in the card...Whoa...(I failed the 2nd quiz!)

I am also recovering from an emotional crisis...I won't reveal some of the details but, I can tell you for sure, it is one of my darkest days of my high school life...waaa...At least it's over.

Hehe, of course, I am also recovering from a blog crisis...I don't get as much traffic as other blogs...That's why I devised ways...I blog hop frequently and and I exchange links with other bloggers...And that's why i am able to recover from this blog slump...

Ok, that's all.

My Yin and My Yang

2006-07-14T17:36:00.000+08:00

Hmm...Well, I don't know how this day really turned out. I don't know whether I'll be happy or I'll be sad and nervous. Anyways, I passed my quiz in Physics! I didn't know what happened but I was really sure that I'll really fail it. And I was so shocked when I got my exam paper. I was like, "Pano nangyari yun???" I guess that only meant one thing: I know i got a pathetic score on my homework but I got a satisfactory quiz result.

Why nervous? I think I lost the profiles for the yearbook. I knew that it was placed near my bag but when I came out of the compulounge, my bag was missing. And so were the papers. When I found my bag in the catwalk, the papers weren't there anymore. I started to panic. JUan told me they were at the drawer but when I checked it, it wasn't there.

Well, do you know how this day turned out? You'll be the judge.

Paper Hearts Bleeding Like Crazy...

2006-07-13T16:28:00.000+08:00

Why do hearts have to bleed? To give your heart to someone you love is like giving yourself to him/her as a whole. To give but not expecting something in return is something so hard. Yes, you love the person but what if she/he never loved you back? Who's stupid now? She/He or you?

Or...

We are stupid to fall in love with someone who can't see our worth?

----

In love, we always worry, we always cry.
You give everything to him/her 'coz he/she is your everything.
But you get nothing.

----

Everytime someone leaves, someone takes his/her place.
What if you love someone and suddenly, he/she leaves you?
Someone comes to fill the void left by that someone.

Until that someone returns.

Who would you choose,
The one who made the void
Or the one
Who filled the void?

Sigh.

I Know How You Feel... Really!

2006-07-12T20:10:00.002+08:00

A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner.

When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.

Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future.

The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them.

At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper.

Her father said,
"If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly."

So in this way, their love won and they returned home.

The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress.

He was dressed in white shirt that day.

While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot.

The girl lost her senses.

It was only after sometimes that she recovered from her shock.

The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.

Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady.

The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible.

But her mother ignored the dream.

The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it.

Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream.

Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately.

She washed the stains but some remained.

Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained.

Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible will happen.

This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.

She was very tired.

In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked the door.

When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door.

She got very scared and fainted.

The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl.

She asked,
"What is this...?"

The old lady replied...
"Gumamit ka ng TIDE. P6.50 na lang, mas pinalaki pa! ".

I know how you all are feeling now...
I have been through this too.
But don't look at me like that.
I'm also hunting for the idiot who mailed this to me!

Pinoy Wisecracks

2006-07-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

Warning: Contains a number of foul languages...Reader's discretion is advised.

WIFE: Himala! Aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "GO TO HELL", kaya ito uwi agad ako.

> > >

Lasing (takot): may multo sa banyo natin!
Wife: ha? Bkit?Lasing: kasi bumubukas yung ilaw pag papasok ako ng banyo eh.
Wife: p****** ka! Ikaw pala umiihi sa ref!

> >

1st night lola wear see thru dress, lolo didn't react...
2nd night lola wear t-back, lolo still deadma...
3rd night lola all naked, lolo said "anu yan suot mo, gusot-gusot!!"

> > >

DAD: anak, bili mo ko softdrinx
ANAK: Coke or Pepsi?
D: Coke
A: Diet or regular?
D: regular
A: bote o can?
D: bote
A: 8 oz o litro?
D: P******!! Tubig na lang!
A: viva o Wilkins?

> > >

AMO: sagutin mo ang telepon inday!
INDAY: (baligtad ang hawak) hilo? hilo?
AMO: baligtarin mo!INDAY: lohi? lohi?
AMO: telepon ang baligtarin mo!
INDAY: Puntili, puntili

> > >

Juan: bday ng asawa ko
Pedro: ano regalo mo?
Juan: tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
P: ano naman sinabi?
J: Kahit ano basta may DIAMOND.
P: ano binigay mo?
J: Baraha.

> >

Pedro: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili nko ng hearing aid. Grabe! Ang linaw na ng pandinig ko!Juan: Talaga? Magkano bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang

> >

Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!
Student: That's not true! My dad sez we are descendants of an Ape!
Teacher: We are not talking about you FAMILY!

> > >

Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw hindi na.

> > >

KRIMINAL1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?"
KRIMINAL2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito wala parin siya! Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya."

> >

SIR: Inday, c Sir mo 2.bangga kotse ko and I nid cash!
INDAY: Aru!!! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh!
SIR: G***! C Sir mo talaga to!
INDAY: G***! C Sir ang tawag saken CUPCAKE!!!!

> > > >

TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga?
BOY: hihina po pandinig ko.
TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga?
BOY: lalabo po paningin ko!
TEACHER: baket naman?
BOY: malalaglag po salamin ko.

> > > >

Dalawang magkaibigan nagtetext....
PEPE: Tol! Pasa load naman! 2pesos lang, my katx lng me.
Tol: cge. w8 lng.
(Message sent)
Pepe: Tnx tol! Bait mo talaga!
Tol: G***! Wag ka na magtex! Sayang ung pinasa ko sayo!!!
Pepe: k.

> > > >

ERAP: doc, i accidentally swallowed a chicken bone.
DOC: is it choking?
ERAP: it's max's.
DOC: i didnt mean chowking...i said, r u choking?
ERAP: no. Im serious!

> > > >

A priest lost a bird & asked during mass...
Priest: anyone got a bird?
all men stood up.
Priest: i mean, any1 seen a bird?
All women stood up.
Priest: i meant any1 seen my bird?
...All nuns stood up

> > > >

ATTY: Inday! Pwede mo bng idiscribe d2 sa korte ang taong nangrape sayo?
INDAY: maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong at bungal...
SUSPEK: cge!!!!...Mangasar ka pa!!!!

> > > >

Dalawang madre nirereyp ng goons....
Madre1: Diyos ko! Patawarin mo po cla...d nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa.
Madre2: ay yung sakin marunong!!!!

> > > >

Dumating c ngongo sa bahay at tinakpan ang eyes ni misis....
Ngongo: "nges hu?"....
MRS: g***!!!! Pa-nges hu nges hu ka pa jan.... e ikaw lng ngongo d2!!!!

> > > >

Dentist & Lover....
Dentist: we have 2 stop seeing each other...halata na tayo ng MR mo.
Lover: but we love each other!
Dentist: oo nga...but were running out of excuses.... ISA NA LNG IPIN MO!

> > > >

Arab interview at US immigration:
Q: Ur name pls.
A: abdul aziz
Q: sex?
A: twice a wik.
Q: i mean male or female?
A: doesn't matter.... sometimes even with camel...

> > > >

Patient: dok. Malungkot d2 sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang sarili ko...
Doc: e ano naman laman ng sulat mo?
Patient: d ko pa po alam kc next wik ko pa ata matatangap...

> > > >

U wont believe what thingspeople do these days...
i was sitting next 2 dis girl in church & in the middle of the mass she light a cigarette!
Na-shock ako!!!!...
I almost dropped my Beer!!!!

Career Orientation Week

2006-07-08T17:46:00.000+08:00

Hi...We just had our Career Orientation Week...It was one heck of a week! We were at the auditorium for 4 days...So cold and I didn't brought a jacket...Well anyway, I was having a very informative time there..So, let me tell what happened those past 4 days...

July 4, 2006-The career talk by ESS-Alumni. I must admit, the school did a great job of molding their minds into responsible adults, who have something to share with those who are in great need of career advice. I like listening to their talks but since I'm at the very front, I'm always noticed by the speakers. But anyway, it's ok.

July 5, 2006-The symposium of Colleges and Universities. I must admit, in choosing the right course, it boils down in choosing the right school. That's why I asked quite a handful of questions about the schools and after thinking, i have decided already on which school I will pursue my tertiary education.

July 6, 2006- The career talk by professionals. I must say I learned a valuable lot from the speakers. Especially Mr. Danilo Arao for explaining to us the world of journalism. Well before that, we had a movie showing.

July 7, 2006- The Mock interview. I was so nervous before since I have a big problem with eye contact. But I was so overwhelmed. I had my interview for only five minutes. And my interviewer, Ms. Yhan was so kind. I was so relaxed and I haven't had much problems. Well, before I had my interview, we had a movie marathon at the auditorium. We watched School of Rock, Tokyo Drift and She's the Man.

So there, we had quite a lot of activities during that week. I learned quite a lot and I must say, I'm ready for COLLEGE!

YFC High School High...A Rousing Success!!!

2006-07-01T21:27:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO!!! The HS-High is a rousing success...I admit, it was the best day ever!!! At first, I was quite skeptical about it but eventually, I was so convinced.

You see, I commuted to school at exactly 6 in the morning. It was pretty early and to think I wear the school uniform!!! Anyway, I arrived at school at exactly 6:15. The school's pretty much quiet by that time. And as time progressed, people started to pile in. I was amazed by the overwhelming attendance of the first year...We were practically outnumbered...We rode on different buses...I was practically uncomfortable during the trip...Well, after a short time, we arrived.

As we took our seats, the band started playing familiar songs...I sang the songs one by one. Haha, they were all familiar to me so no prob. Then the program started. We sang some songs again then we had this bring me game...After that, is the jail booth selection. Well, I really wanted to get inside the jail booth..Then I was shocked when they announced, "Kulong lahat ng may eyeglasses!" I was totally freaked out. I got up from my seat and proceeded to the jail booth. I was practically pulling the board and screaming, "Palayain nyo ako!" Good thing, Gio paid 2 pesos for me and the others to bail us out. And I was so happy and relieved.

Then, the difficult time started...

As time progressed, it was getting all hot. I was practically all sweaty. But there was one problem. We can't get out. I mean, we can't get past the school gates. I really wanted something to drink. Really. And then I bought 8 bottles of pepsi just to pass the thirst. I gave some away. And to top it off, I had my good fill of the food. My packed lunch. I also sang using the Magic Sing but to my surprise, the lyrics were not complete!!! I was practically guessing them.

Then, the program started again. It started with a fashion show. Then followed by a play. I watched it with much attention. Then, we listened to a talk about 100% Pure. After that, we were practically sang a lot of praise songs. It was really tiring. I almost fainted because of exhaustion.
I was practically jumping, screaming, busting my lungs out. But it was definitely worth it.

It ended with various OPM numbers. Then, we boarded the buses again and we went back. But, I disembarked when we reached Golden City.

Bottomline is: He who sings, praises twice.

Para sa mga taong may MU (Malabong Usapan) Relationship

2006-06-26T06:39:00.000+08:00

She is a 24-year old copywriter.
He is an architect.
They met and became lovers in college.
They broke up last year but remained to be "friends."
They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay.
They still date.
They still have sex.
They don't see anyone else.
It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score.
Even her friends are in the dark.
"Parang sila, pero hindi."

---

She works in a telecom.
He is reviewing for the board.
They are in the same barkada.
They talk on the phone till 4 am.
He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion.
Their friends are suspecting something.
Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman?
Why does he hold her close on the dance floor?
Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi?
Sila kaya?
"He hasn't admitted anything," she rants.
"But I let him hug and kiss me.
Parang kami, pero hindi."

---

They work together in an ad agency.
After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta.
She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous.
They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it.
He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then.
But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him.
She likes him.
And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too.
There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

---

She is a 28-year-old virgin.
He's a 35-year-old bachelor.
Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs.
After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out.
They have been doing this for months.
She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it.
"We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends.
"What's important is I am enjoying this-whatever it is."

---

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage.
Others call it MU or mutual understanding.
Pseudo-relationships.
Pseudo-boyfriends.
Flings.
Almost like a relationship, but not quite.
It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers.
Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala.
One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi.
You just let your gestures do the talking for you.
Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari.
Hindi kayo mag-dyowa.
Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.
This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons.
It can happen after a break-up.
You still love each other and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason.
And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.
It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam.
Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna.
Testing lang.
Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo-usually the guy *may ka relasyon na.
Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun.
Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."
Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?
Iba't ibang dahilan.
Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang
"pantawid-gutom."
Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.
For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all.
It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.
Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako.
No commitments involved.
For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.
My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."
Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling.
Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko.
Iyong merong kahang-out sa beach outing.
Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message.
Iyong merong laging kasama.
Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.
But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real.
And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.
Una, you can't ask him to commit.
Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner.
Ano ba kayo?
May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi?
You will always be uncertain about your role in his life.
You can't expect him to be always there with you.
And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself.
Ano ka ba niya para magselos?
Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him?
You can't be sure if he feels the same way.
Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya.
Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't.
Because you're not sure if he'll like it.
Baka mapahiya ka lang.
This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship.
Or if there is a relationship at all.
Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much?
What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't?
What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?
Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting.
When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it.
Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship.
Wala kang pinanghahawakan.
Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us."
Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."
Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo.
Kaso, hindi eh.
Real pain.
And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun.
And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.
Ang hirap, ano?
You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.
Pero pwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh.
Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.
But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili.
You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next.
Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo.
Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence.
Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo.

Survived...

2006-06-24T09:39:00.000+08:00

Whew! I finally survived my first week of formal classes...Since my schoolwork is in the way, I would be updating weekly and promise, I'll tell all my experiences during that week in one post. Haha..That's impossible though...It wouldn't fit...And I guess I'm much luckier than I was in my third year...All I have to do are my assignments for Tuesday and Wednesday..And yeah, I still have a bout of colds...And I hope that I can do much better next week.

Gotta go though...

Tag-Hirap

2006-06-19T20:41:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...I think I survived my formal classes...Well basically I was not up to the test but I guess it's worth it...Physics was quite ok...I got the lesson really nicely locked up in my mind...Asked a couple of questions and I guess, it went quite good. (Whew!)

Well, I hope that tomorrow and the next couple of days would be better...Well, the mythology homework is a real stress reliever...(Just kidding!) Anyway, I need to refresh my mind about my Math...It's getting cobwebs in there! I think I was too complacent with it...*sigh*

Guess the world is no better place after all...

Que Horror

2006-06-15T21:15:00.000+08:00

I decided to update again (finally!) before formal classes starts...I must say, I have some assignments, due on Monday and I need to finish them by Friday...Dammit! I can't go to that thingy ( I need to ask again!) 'Coz I don't want to worry by Sunday when formal classes start by Monday the next day...I searched the literary works needed for English and I will research the assignment for Math..I will still print the visuals for filipino...And oh no! I need to read the book on Physics...Speaking of Physics, I'm so terribly unlucky! Dunno why, but I think it would be much better...Hope so! Well, let me tell you what really happened...

Well, I was slouching on my seat during the rest of the session...When Sir Romy threw us random questions...The first question was kind of tough...What is the difference between Physics and Chemistry? No one raised their hands yet. And here comes the painful part...

I don't know what he exactly said but it goes like this:

"Daig pa kayo ng physiology...Mga anim na agad ang nagtaas ng kamay sa kanila, iilan lang yung nagtataas sa inyo..."

I was suddenly jerked awake. And so were the rest of the class.

Then the second question was thrown. "Why is knowledge in English important for the Study of Physics?" I already had an idea of what to say but sadly, I wasn't able to spit it out. I was too terrified to commit a mistake. Then when he revealed the answer, I almost punched the table. I was right after all.

Then, the third question was thrown. "Why do we need to compute?" or the much more simplified version, "What do we compute?"

Honestly, I was so sleepy that I couldn't look him straight in the eye. I was looking sideways all the time. When suddenly, he called my attention. I was so surprised and terrified at the same time. When i was giving my answer, I stuck on the word because...

He suddenly said, "Because??!!"

I was so shocked, I jumped backward in horror. My classmates laughed at me. I continued, but was stuttuering so much, I was starting to eat my words. But I hit a key word: DATA.

And the answer was so simple: Measurements.

I can't believe I was in hot water that time. I was trying to stop myself to let my tears fall down. I was so genuinely embarrassed.

As I was still thinking about it, I realize that not all the time, we are on top of the world, but on the depths of despair.

Sigh.

P.S. I decided not to post just yet the rest of the summary...Really sorry I can't just yet.

D.N. Angel

2006-06-09T22:07:00.000+08:00

Well earlier, I watched the final episode of D.N. Angel, and I admit, it's done wonderfully well...The fight between Dark and Light (Krad in the Jap Version) is especially so great...And of course, Daisuke's will to save Satoshi from his horrible fate is so touching (of course, with the heated rivalry between the Niwas and the Hikaris) well, I'm certain that Dai and Riku will live happily ever after (Satoshi and Risa's glances were meaningful, I say.)

...

A couple of days more, and school's back. Yes, homework, quizzes, projects and the like...I guess it's really inevitable...Yeah, who wouldn't miss those things? (I wouldn't!)

A Couple of Days More...School!!!

2006-06-07T21:43:00.000+08:00

Well, sorry if I only posted today...Well, I wasn't in the mood to post...Well, I'm working on my first (and last!) layout...It's kinda crude...Watched 13 episodes of Digimon O2 in my spare time...I found this certain music site..I decided to take my cue from there...Well, I want to put my personal touch on my blog by having my own layout...Anyway, I'm halfway done with the novel, I won't post it all since it spans about 5 pages per chapter...Only the summary will be posted...And Lulu is having her little share of the Limelight...She's done wonderful skins for blogskins and I'm happy to say, a lot of people liked them...WOOHOO!!!*chuckles*

Well, school's just around the corner, I presume it would be a fun-filled school year and at the same time, a bit short 'coz just 10 months more and I'll be leaving my precious alma mater that had been my home for almost 9 years *sniffles*. Well, I think I'm getting old already...I guess...

Well, this post is finished for today...Bye!

I Am Currently Facing The Worst Month Of My Life

2006-06-04T21:56:00.000+08:00

Hmm..Based from the events that happened and the events that are about to happen, I can say after this last week before the aformentioned school year, I will be facing the worst month of June ever! And it's not even the beginning! (for details, refer to my current mood.)

Well basically, I am looking forward to my last 10 months of my high school life...All I can say is...Carryover the past hurts, lies, and heartaches that I have experienced during my Third Year...Well, I'm not saying that I'm not too optimistic about my forthcoming fourth year life...It's just...It's just...

I can say that I have come to the point where I will choose my future and the path that I should take...And what people say makes it all the more confusing...I know, I couldn't reach out to the other bloggers...Well, I know it will take some time before this blog gets noticed...I want to make sure that everyone who stumbles upon this site will benefit from what I'm saying...Hmmm...

I would be very busy this coming schoolyear...Maybe it's time to get serious and focus more and more on my priorities...My life was a mess during Third Year...I just know it...

But I want to thank all who have been a part of my life during my first 3 years of High School...You've done a wonderful job of reshaping,molding and wrecking my wretched life...All I want to say is that if not for all of you, my life would have been a total mess.

P.S. I am currently working on my first novel...The title is Tears of Ice and Snow...Basically, I want to teach the potential readers of my story the importance of friendship, how true love can wait, that jealousy is the root of all broken relationships, and the give and take aspect of love. The events happened during the feudal years when many countries go to war to gain territories and some aspects of the Renaissance. I know that it would be different from the past stories that I have written since the feel of realism and escapism are present, so bear with me. I will be posting it within this week.

Writing Advice

2006-06-01T00:06:00.000+08:00

Well, I decided to start off this article with a background of my short-spanned and illustrious career as a student cum writer...

Well, I had this serious encounter in writing since my elementary years. "Class, write something about your summer vacation.", "Class, write something about your pet." , "Class, write something about nature." The versatility is endless. I must admit, I don't like writing so much. I always ran out of ideas to write about.

Well, when I was in Grade 4, I wrote something about my fantasy vacation. And my teacher in English liked what I wrote. She was the one who encouraged me to write. Up to this day, I thank her for giving me the chance.

My teachers, well some of them, like the essays I write. They always give me praises for my works. I must admit, if weren't for them, I would've threw my manuscripts into the trash can and let the dump read it.

Of course, I also have my share of frustrations in this field. When I joined a writing club, I admit that I'm not a good writer. I always get criticized for my work. I don't really liked being criticized. I almost quitted if not for my friend who encouraged me.

When I went to high school, I had completely forgotten about writing. I only write for requirement and not for passion, as I always did before.

So why I'm telling you this? Well, I want to clarify some things up...

Well, the reason why I write is to "exorcise the demon in me." Quite confusing isn't it? Well, I write to satisfy the longings of my heart that I never experienced before...Mainly, out of what I hear and what I feel during that particular moment.

A writer's "personal demons" are the brainchild behind every countless story, essay, poem, manuscript, book or novel.

"A writer is a victim of a curse which for ordinary people the only cure is a bath."
-Bob Ong

Well of course, there are times when I'm required to pass formal themes for English class. And I admit, it's the worst-case scenario I've ever been into...

Well as I have said earlier, I hate being criticized. And formal themes are the most heavily bombarded with criticism or worse, corrections... Of course when I write, I put into consideration my grammar skills as well as the literary sense. That's why I'm disappointed. I tried everything, I set my mind into it and yet, I'm still bad-mouthed and criticized.

Well, of course we hate those who criticize our works but we need them. So if you cannot accept being corrected, then writing is not the profession for you...Many people thought that writers are the most arrogant people but it's the opposite.

Writers are the most heavily affected by rejection and failure compared to other people. The Door-to-door salesmen, when they are being ignored by people, they know that only the product, not them is the problem. But when writers get rejected, they are rejected because of their ability.

Many famous writers suffered great humiliation before their works were accepted. And of course, critics were next in their list of tormentors. But, what's important is you have readers that you can give your inspiration to.

"Write for them, not for the critics."

Sneaking Out

2006-05-29T00:03:00.000+08:00

Hehe..It's been days since I last updated...I'm just sneaking out...It's really hard to do this secretly....Well, here's the punch lines in this sneaking process...

>I am currently reading Stainless Longganisa by Bob Ong....
>Been pimping out my Friendster profile...
>Checked mail and threw out the junk...
>Did some downloading...
>Thinking of something to say...

Well, I guess it's time to get Broadband..Haha...

Mother's Day Without a Mother

2006-05-14T14:32:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...It's Mother's Day today and my mom is not here with me in the house (aawww...that sucks!) Anyway, I'm celebrating it without her...It sucks 'coz my sis is with her again...

Well, before they left, I was celebrating...When I came back from the Youth Camp, I miss them terribly...I couldn't blame God for not choosing my parents well for me...I know and you all know, that they are His gift for us...And we must shower our love and affection to them. Imagine how hard it is to fend for yourself without them...

When we lose our parents, it is the hardest-hitting loss that we will ever suffer...Unless we want them to die...Our parents especially our mothers love us...We may be not shown enough affection by them...They work hard to give our needs....

Well, to all moms...and to my mom...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

How Good Friendships End In a Snap of a Finger

2006-05-13T07:43:00.000+08:00

I walk through the dusty path.

I walk with faith.

I walk with conviction.

I trudged the dusty path to the town cemetery. It was nighttime, and I thought a walk around would be fine. I was in low spirits since that fateful night and I think I ought to stretch my legs...

---

All changed in the span of one night.

They say a first night spoils everything.

It was true. It was a lesson learned, the painful way.

---

It was a fine school day. I was having some quiet time to myself one afternoon. I watched rather sadly as birds fluttered by my arm. I stared at the birds then I fed them some rice grains that I always bring for this purpose. As I watch the sun set in the horizon, I felt rather melancholic, like I was expecting something to happen...

At that time, I thought I was enjoying this view all to myself.

Until someone touched my hand.

I immediately jumped aside, and my first instinct was to slap that person. But I was shocked.

It was you.

I don't know what I would feel. You approached and asked if it's ok to sit with me. I frantically said yes.

I felt as if my heart skipped a beat. The opportunity to sit with you, was too much to miss...

You sit beside me. We both looked at the sky. The moon began to shine serenely above us. You commented about how bright the moon is. I continued to stare at your wonderful face. It was like a dream. I slapped myself, thinking that it was all a dream.

Suddenly, you grabbed my hand. And to my surprise, you put it against your cheek. I was so overwhelmed...

Then, I began to act upon my instincts.

I took your hand. I kissed it tenderly. I feel you shudder slightly. But when I was finished, you brought your hand to your cheek to stroke it. I was so happy...

I stroked your hair tenderly. It was the first time I ever touched you intimately. You smiled at me. Then, I decided to take things one step further.

I held your face close to me. I admit, I was so nervous, then I decided to go for it.

I brought my lips to yours. I gently kissed you for a few moments before I pull back and put my arm around you. You smiled and planted a kiss on my cheek. I returned your kiss, and I rested my cheek on your ears. You giggled, and caressed my cheek with your cheek. I grinned and poked your side, in an attempt to tickle you. You squirmed around a little. I laughed as I combed your hair and planted a kiss on your forehead. You crooned as you returned the kiss. I chuckled and I leaned to press a kiss to your lips again. You kissed back and you blushed. I murmured through the kiss as i tried to your wrists. I whispered, "Grip." You felt the strong grip and I felt as if your heart had just skipped a beat.

I move up my hand to your face, placing both of them to your cheeks and gently caressing the flesh as I deepen the kiss...

I whispered, "Can we go beyond friendship?"

My face fell when I heard your reply.

"I'm sorry, but we can't. You know, I also felt the same way towards you...But, I need to have some time to myself. You know I am still recovering from a broken relationship. So, I am really sorry. We can't go beyond that."

I withdraw my gaze from you. It was like I was poured cold water on my face.
Tears started to flow from my eyes like rain.

It was then I noticed that it was raining.

I looked to my side but you already disappeared.

I sighed heavily. I decided to wait for the rain to pass before I went home.

As I went home, I was so ashamed of myself. To think that I professed my love to my own best friend. I was so angry at myself for doing it. I know, I don't have the nerve to face you.

Suddenly, I heard frantic noises overhead. I scurried over to the source of the noise.

I was shocked at what I saw.

Your house is on fire.

I was so frantic, I don't know what to do. I saw your mother crying. She told me you went inside the burning house as though you had gone insane. I almost wanted to go after you but the firemen said that it was no use.

You died in the fire. I practically blame myself for what happened.

I can never say to you how much I love you anymore.

And that night poisoned everything.

---

I entered the gates. The caretaker greeted me. I merely nodded at him.

Soon, I found your grave. It was a nice spot. It faced a large farmland, which is very calm. I sighed as I put the flowers I brought beside your grave. Then I sat on the grass and stared into space...It's your birthday, and I hummed Happy Birthday while looking at the sunrise...

Fish 'n Chips

2006-05-10T19:21:00.000+08:00

Hehe...I'm into depression mode...But I want to show this video from Yakitate Japan...Fish 'n Chips...Haha, I'm so laughing right now, the video is so funny...I watched it from Betina's blog...I'll include it...Enjoy!

It Hurts So Bad...

2006-05-08T21:15:00.000+08:00

"Emotions will only put you down sometimes it's just better to use your head than to hurt yourself knowing you and the one you love can never be..."

Those were the exact words in her status message...

We're goners...

Some excerpts from our chat...

"I don't know how many times I wrote little sweet love notes to you--- I thought you loved me and we would last forever___ I guess I was wrong..."

"u really noe how to break my heart eh... all u wanted to be is just
friends...galing lam moh na pano break heart ko..."

"hard days made me hard nights shaped me...i dont know they somehow saved me..."

"i wont die from a broken heart... i only wish i did....ganun lng un kaya dont worry..."

"you shall find some girl perhaps, and a better one than me, With eyes as wise, but kindlier, and lips as soft, but true, and I daresay she will do..."

Yeah...I'll never forget all the things we have shared...All that we have experienced together...

I'll never forget these last words...

"There's this place in me where your finger prints still rest... your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo... It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me. .."

I know, but our lives will continue and we need to move on...

P.S. Last minute excerpts:

“Yes i still love you. I love u more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to you forever. But I know it's not for the best. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to let you go so you can know just how much I love you. Maybe if I'm lucky, you'll come back, but if not, I can make it through this.”

"lam ko naman na di na pwede mging tau...pero wala naman msama kung aasa ako eh.... sa isang bagay na lam kong di ko makukuha..."

Na-hurt ako dito sa isang ito...

“LOVE Horrible isn't it? It makes me so vulnerable. It opens my chest and it opens up my heart and it means that someone can get inside me and mess me up. i build up all these defenses, i build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt me....

But...

then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into my stupid life...i give you a piece of me. you didn't ask for it. you did something dumb one day, like kiss me or smile at me, and then my life isn't my own anymore.

And...

It gets inside me. It eats me out and leaves you crying inside the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into my heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-me-and-rips-me-apart pain. I hate love.”

Sigh...

YFC Youth Camp News Advisory 101

2006-05-07T13:48:00.000+08:00

Hey! I'm back for good...Still fresh from the Youth Camp...Haha...I'm now an official member of Youth For Christ (YFC) and I'm proud of it! To think that I have attended a handful of YFC gatherings and I'm not even a member yet!(Count:RLC,YFC High School Summit,YFC Provincial Assembly,Youth Camp except the Kasangga Assembly) Hehe, well the experience is awesome...I have run out of words to express them all...So here they all are:

Friday, May 5, 2006

Hehe, since this day is a review day, I decided to take all my things with me to the review session. It was so hard carrying my duffel bag since it is so heavy...I guess I packed too much...

(Fast forward..)

After the review, I went out and saw the people who are going to the youth camp. There's Obie and Gio and Russell. Anyway, a lot of people were quite jealous 'coz they can't go...Anyway, I went with Obie to the lobby and to my surprise, a lot of the 4th year graduates were there, and also 3 of the 1st 4th year graduates...Hehe...Anyway, we boarded our car going to the venue...It's quite a long car ride and my back was aching...But when we arrived, it was the best surprise of my whole life...

It's a cold night in Indang...When we arrived, we were greeted by a handful of tents and some uh, creepy crawlies...We registered first our names and after that, got our Camp Kits...Then, we listened to Kuya Mon and Ate Apple about our groupings for the tents. After that, we were taught songs although I know some of them already (ok, i don't know the song Heaven) and after that, we had dinner...

After that, we had our first talk...It was delivered by Ate C.E. ...The talk was about God's Love and His Plan For Us...We realized that God has a "crazy dream" for us: a plan to give us a future and a hope. That's why he sent his only son to save us from our sins and mend our broken link with God.

Then, we played the game "Archer, Rabbit, Wall." It was a totally cool game and we won! Hehe... Then more songs were taught...

Then Talk two followed. This was delivered by Ate Dana...The talk was entitled: "Who is Jesus Christ to me?" We learned about the common misconceptions about Jesus and the best way to get to know him better. She also compared Jesus to Alexander the Great...

Then we had a sharing portion...I opened up to my groupmates about some aspects of my life...After that, we prayed all together...Then we went to our tents to freshen up...Most of the girls were eating in their tents...I hope ants won't attack them.

LIGHTS OUT.

Saturday, May 6, 2006

About 3 in the morning, I woke up, quite shocked. Because I felt that something was biting me. I thought I was just dreaming...So I decided to go back to sleep.

That wasn't the verdict.

At about 5 AM, I couldn't stand the bites anymore. I immediately got up and saw my tentmate, Aimee already up and trying to get the ants off.

Ants.

So that's the problem. I immediately helped Aimee to get rid of the ants...Then when I can't take it any longer, I went out of the tent where I saw people suffering the same fate...Then, to get rid of the itchiness, I decided to take a bath...But, there is no water.

I guess I woke up some of the sleeping tenants with my incessant complaining. They immediately guessed my plight...

When the water supply was restored, I immediately took a bath...

After taking a bath, I went to the session hall and worked up on my inbox...Then, BREAKFAST!

Then, time for talk 3...The speaker is Kuya Edwin...The talk is about Repentance, Faith, Healing and Forgiveness. We learned a lot about his past life and how he applied these principles to his life to change for the better. That healing occurs when we forgive, ask for forgiveness, humbly ask God to do so, and when we serve others.

Then, we had a letter writing activity. We wrote letters to our parents. I don't know what to put into the letter so I decided to write about my concerns and problems concerning them. After that, we had lunch and it's time for the One-to-One sessions...

ONE-TO-ONE SESSIONS

Well, basically I want to have this session so badly. I don't know why, maybe because I needed something to distract me from all the pain I've felt...So, I approached Ate Rachel and told her I want to have a session first. She agreed. We went to a secluded place in the campsite.

First, I told her about my family problems. All about me not wanting the course they want but eventually giving in to what they want. Then about me not sharing my problems to them because I feel this sort of foolish pride...Then I also told her about my problems with my friends(sorry, it's pretty confidential) and school problems.

Through this session, I managed to open up about what is really happening with my life...

-END OF NEWS ARTICLE-

continue...

Then she asked me what gift of the Holy Spirit would I want. I said gift of tongues.

Then we prayed together. After that, I went back to the hut. I sat there for no reason at all.
Then I talked to Obie about the latest happenings in school. Then, about 4, we had our E-NYT practices. I was with the singing group. We decided to sing Crazy for You and Same Ground. After that, we went outside for the mass. We rode tricycles to the church. Then, we realized that we arrived too early. So we went to buy drinks in a nearby store.

Then we went to the mass...

After that, we went back to the campsite for dinner. After dinner, we watched funny clips like Michael Jackson's rendition of My Favorite Things( I like pick a nose) and the Pooh Bear song. After that, we freshened up a bit.

Talk 4 followed...

The speaker was Kuya Norman...His talk was about Receiving God's Gift: The Power of the Holy Spirit. We were so amazed that we can receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit...

Then, we had our prayover session...I admit, I was so touched and at the same time guilty of the sins that I have done. Honestly, I was full of mind-numbing guilt. I was suddenly full of courage and conviction to serve God. When I slightly opened my eyes, I noticed that most of the people were standing up. Full of conviction that I never had, I stood up.

Then, the prayover began. I was called first by my faci and she prayed for me. It was an emotional moment...I was practically sniffing as she prayed...Then after that, I had this feeling of calm that I have never felt before...I went back to my seat as though I went back to life.

Then our first worship session began...I admit, it's not my first time to worship because of the past gatherings...But it's ok 'coz for some, it's their first time.

Then some last-minute preparations for our E-NYT presentations...Then we presented our song number...I admit it didn't turn out quite good but it's alright. We were practically laughing at the gag presentation...Kuya Kenneth's impersonation of Kuya Mon was so hilarious...

Then preparations to go to bed....All the girls thought they wouldn't be able to go to sleep...Kuya Mon was so persistent on keeping them awake...(He's teasing Aimee about sardines...) Me and Ate Laira were having a fight....Haha, it's such a long night...

LIGHTS OUT.

Sunday, May 7, 2006

I woke up at around 5:30 AM. True, I realy can't get enough sleep. But it's ok 'coz no ants were biting me as I slept. But, I realized that I was being bitten by the large ants that bite like hell..I took a bath early.

Working on my inbox once again...Hehe, I was writing messages on the colored paper.

Breakfast...Yum yum!

Then, prayer time and worship....

Then, we were asked to transfer to the shady part facing the river. There, talk 5 started. It was Kuya Mon who delivered the talk. It's about the Life and Mission of YFC...The one that caught my attention was when Ate Apple told us that they couldn't eat like we do there...

Then, we prayed...Then, some of us received the biggest surprise of our life...

Their parents and loved ones...

Some were crying when they saw their parents...But some were not so lucky. I was one of those not-so-lucky ones. But it's ok. It was Ate Rachel who served as my parent. They prayed for us and we prayed for them. Then, we went to the session hall for our final worship. Then we were awarded our certificates and ID's.

Then we had our lunch. But, we gave our lunch to the facis...

As we left the place, I felt complete renewal...I thank God for giving me the opportunity to be in this camp...For letting me bond with the people who I never thought I would get to know better and for making me a better person...

May GOD be forever praised...

Rough Landing, Holly

2006-05-05T08:46:00.000+08:00

Rough Landing, Holly... I had a LSS or Last Song Syndrome and it's all because of this song...I was browsing TV channels one afternoon and I saw the video being played on MTV... I was immediately hooked to it and I downloaded it via Limewire... I really like the song and the lyrics but especially the video...

I'll share a few lyrics of the song...

Left the ground
In black and white
And when the plane went down
The colors all around
I know by now
The margin's slight
And still I can't get out; she's all I think about, can't let her go
It's who you know

Chorus
We came down to watch the world walk by
And all she found was trouble in my eyes
From the sky she pulled me down tonight
Let her go
Let her go

She moves fast,
Takes control and like a heart attack I know I can't turn back
And time just passed
Nights moved slow
And she was all I had, I thought I'd never last, can't let her go
It's who you know

Chorus x2

She calls out the farther that I fly
I love that sound so give me one more line
From the sky she pulled me down tonight
Let her go

As an added bonus, I included the video of the song. Enjoy!

P.S. My next post will be due Monday because of the youth camp.

People Come Into Your Life For A Reason

2006-05-04T09:10:00.000+08:00

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

-From Friendster

A Happy Review....

2006-04-29T18:06:00.000+08:00

Haha...Hey...It's been days...I'm busy reviewing for the past few days...Hello, having two consecutive review days is too stressful...So, we had an interesting lecturer by the name of Sir Jared Billena...Haha, honestly, our first impression?? Well, he's kind of...you know...But, we realized that we're wrong about him...He's the only lecturer that we've got that actually knows the subject he's teaching..whaerzz....I really like him so much...So, gotta go...See you!!!

Photo

2006-04-27T20:32:00.000+08:00

"Photo"
A photo can say a thousand things
But it can't say the million things I wanna say
A photo can capture the way we were
But it can't capture the way we are
'Cause you're far away

What it's like to know you
What it's like to touch you

When you told me that you loved me were those just words
You can't tell me you don't need meand I know that hurts
'Cause I'm looking at your picture
'Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day
You and me will have one more shot

Timing lost minutes and moments
And I might be lonely girl
But I'm not afraid
In a second
It all comes right back to me
Nothing's forgotten now
Yeah everything's saved

What it's like to touch you
What it's like to know you
When you told me that you loved me were those just words
You can't tell me you don't need me and I know that hurts
'Cause I'm looking at your picture
'Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day
You and me will have one more shot

You were my life you were my faith
You gave me hope every day

When you told me that you loved me were those just words
You can't tell me you don't need me and I know that hurts
'Cause I'm looking at your picture
'Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day
You and me will have one more shot

Result...

2006-04-26T21:48:00.000+08:00

Haha...Hi...I just peeked at the Diliman Access website...Haha...Just see for yourself how i rated...

Review no.: 0610610020

website: http://www.angelfire.com/linux/dilimanaccess

Ok...bye!

Listen, Listen to the Rain

2006-04-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

I just want to share this story I got from Seton Notes...

Listen, Listen to the Rain
By: Wish

I sat in my room, on the window seat. The wind was blowing, making my long, black hair flow behind me. Another beautiful rainstorm... Watching the drops hit the ground, listening to the tapping on the roof and feeling the cold air, I was so absorbed in living the rain that I didn't notice you come into the room and sit across from me.

I breathed in sharply when I suddenly felt your fingertips on my cheek, snapping me back into reality. I saw myself in your eyes, and realized that there was more rainfall, this time not falling from the sky, but from my eyes. I reached a hand to my face to wipe away the tears, but you grabbed my wrist, choosing to wipe them away yourself. I looked at you, a questioning look in my eyes, but you just smiled your secret smile. I tried to tug my hand away but you didn't let go. The wind blew harder.

You slid your grip upward from my left wrist. My hand seemed so small while you held it. The warmth felt like a glove in the bitter wind's cold. You ran your thumb over my knuckles, then turned my hand over. I averted my gaze from our hands and looked at your face.

I had to look. I had to make sure if it was really you, the first and only person I had ever loved. It was. I closed my eyes, then opened them, again and again. This couldn't be real, could it? It's a dream. I know it is. In a little while, I'm going to hear my alarm clock buzzing in my ear. Any minute now...

My eyes were abruptly drawn back to our hands by the sensation of your finger tracing patterns on my palm, sending little jolts through me. I closed my eyes. Your finger trailed downward, through every line, then stopped at the base of my palm, hovering over the wrist. Lightning flashed, my eyes flew open. I jerked back my left hand, gripping the wrist with my right, hiding what was underneath.

I saw my reflection in your eyes again. I was shaking my head slowly, eyes wide, fearful... and sad. The tears started. You pulled my hand back, so gently. It lay open on top of yours, trembling. You traced every scar and every half-healed cut, your light, feathery touches sending me to heaven. Then you held my wrist, lifting it up. My heart seemed to stop as you brushed your lips against the skin. Then thunder, the loudest I'd ever heard...

I woke up, in complete darkness, still on the window seat, rain still falling, even harder than before. I didn't move, realizing that what I was leaning on, whatever it was, was rising and falling. I relaxed, feeling your arms around me, breathing in your intoxicating smell. Smiling, I closed my eyes again, wrapping my arms around your waist. The rhythm of your breath was
my lullaby as i drifted back to sleep.

I could live again.

On Top of The World, Or In the Depths of Despair

2006-04-22T22:06:00.000+08:00

P.S. The lines of the title are taken from Goethe...

Sigh.

I wonder why some people compare life to a wheel...because there are times we're up, and the next thing you know, you're down already...

Sigh again.

Life is a roller coaster ride, there are twists and turns and even upside downs...but, the world eventually rights itself...

Sigh....

When we say goodbye to someone, remember that we had a moment in their story...

Another sigh...

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.

Suicide Note...

2006-04-12T23:01:00.000+08:00

P.S. : To all who have read my story, thank you for the positive feedbacks...

Suicide Note

This is a poem I got from a friend...

This is my note telling you why
Telling you why I want to die
Knife to my wrist, gun to my head
Now to yall know I wish I was dead
As the blade runs up I scream in pain
Realizing that I sliced a vein
Now its time to say good-bye
This is the last time im gunna try
Now that’s over theres blood on the floor
I couldn’t stop cutting I cut more and more
On the bed I lay with a blood stained sheet
My death is something im ready to meet
My skin is open my bloods pouring out
My blood is starting to look like a spout
I can’t stop bleeding I can’t stop crying
And all I can think about is dying
This is my suicide note if anyone cares
You wanna see my slits and tares
No one cares about the way I feel
No one thinks my cuts are real
So f*** yall who don’t want me here
For you guys dying is just such a fear
I want to die it makes me glad
Its much better then always being sad
My eyes slowly close my life is now gone
Now I will surely be dead by dawn
My suicide note is now complete
Not everyone’s life can be so sweet

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...Epilogue

2006-04-11T09:41:00.000+08:00

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...

Epilogue

The rain stopped. The clouds cleared up and the moon is visible again. The only sounds that could be heard are the chirping of crickets and the occasional rustling of the wind. It is over. The damage is done. There is no way to reverse it.

I walk out of my hiding place. You are so scared about what had just transpired, you fell asleep by my side. I start to walk towards the two corpses. When I reached the spot, I can only do nothing but stare at how fate has caused this tragedy. It is 1 o’clock in the morning. I should be at home, sleeping. Instead, I am here shedding some light into this case.

I walked to where the bodies are. And after much hesitation, I carefully turned over the body of the murderer and laid it beside the victim. This deed alone is enough to make one sick. I checked their heartbeat. It stopped already. They are no longer breathing. I declared them officially dead. I really hate myself so much, it makes me sick. I know that I should’ve done something. Instead, I just waited for death to ravage them and take their lives away.

Upon closer inspection, the murderer is a girl.

My suspicions were correct.

But it is too late.

I pounded my fist on the ground. I continued this until my fists were bleeding. I really blame myself for what had happened. Suddenly, I felt a hand gripping my shoulder.

Your hand.

Don’t blame yourself, you say, it’s not your fault.

I was so overcome with grief, I did not answer.

Shall we call your father? You ask.

I looked at you intently. Then slowly, I nodded.

You get your cell phone and dialed the number of the police station. I took no notice.

When suddenly, I remembered the diary.

I frantically scanned all the pages. It doesn’t matter what I might find but all I want to do is find something.

Another entry? This entry was not here before, I thought.

But, I said to myself, maybe I overlooked it.

I read this very last entry with trembling hands. It seemed like it was hurriedly scrawled into the diary, that’s why it has a big chance of being overlooked.

April 2, 2006

Just came from the doctor. Not really a bearer of good news. I contracted TB and worse of all, since it has been years since I last saw a doctor so complications developed. The doctors predicted I might die anytime if symptoms worsened.

Well, I got to carry on with my plan.

This is the only way I can think of.

To be with you until the end.

Thank you for coming into my life.

Goodbye.

As you shed your tears, don’t ever look back…

-END-

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...Part 6

2006-04-10T10:10:00.000+08:00

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...Part 6

Part 6

I shivered as I read this last entry. It shed light on this murder. I now understand the motive of the suspect. And I know now that the diary belonged to him. I looked at my watch. Its almost 11 o’clock in the evening. I immediately ran to the room where you are sleeping.

But, you’re not there.

Even my jacket is gone.

I ran out of the room, searching for you. I searched all the rooms, but you were nowhere to be found. Lots of things kept flashing in my mind like the murderer found you and took you as hostage or you were murdered on the spot. I tried to push these thoughts out of my mind as I tried to find you.

To my relief, I found you leaning at the ledge, staring down below.

Hey, I shouted, where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you.

You just looked at me, the jacket draped over your shoulders.

Look down, you say.

With some hesitation, I looked down.

I saw two people; one lying on the ground, the other I think is staring at the person on the ground. They were under a large tree. I saw the sky darkening. The clouds were covering up the moon.

Then suddenly, it rained.

It rained so hard; I can hardly see what is going on downstairs. You suggested that we should go down. I agreed. I went back to the room where we stayed and took my overnight bag with me.

It is almost midnight. We madly dash downstairs to the lobby. We are oh so close to solving this crime. When we finally reached the lobby, I never felt so much excited in my whole life. We picked a hidden vantage point in the lobby to hide so that he or she might not see us.

We watched what happened next.

The person continued to stare at the girl’s body. Rain continued to lash in their faces. We watched closely as it placed a flower on the girl’s chest. Then it nodded in deep solemnity as it surveyed the damage done.

Suddenly, the person coughed violently. It vomited a lot of blood. You looked away, not wanting to see what will happen next. I tried to take a closer look. Then the person almost collapsed. It knelt in front of the victim’s face. It bowed down and looked at the face of the one he or she has killed. It stared unblinkingly at the victim’s eyes.

Then it kissed the victim’s cold lips.

After doing so, it collapsed on the victim’s body. It died on the spot.

All these things I have witnessed in my own eyes.

And it haunted me terribly.

(Epilogue at a later release…)

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...Part 5

2006-04-08T12:58:00.000+08:00

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...

Part 5

I know, I’m almost there.

Those were my thoughts as I rifled through the pages of the diary. I do believe that we are progressing through our investigation. My dad’s operative called me up on my cell phone and told me the results:

Gun
-License expired at 4/3/2006

Swiss army knife
- Initials found at the blade base: F.A

Set of blades
-Same initials found

Kick pad and shin guards
-The name of the training center is found on the items.
-Called up training center and found out that the said items were missing since 4/1/2006.

Hand grenades
-Smuggled from an armory in Camp Crame 3/31/2006

I noted all of these findings on my notepad. After he hung up, I studied all that I found out. And it seemed to me that whoever it is must have carefully planned the crime.

I opened the diary to the very last page. I was shocked to find another entry.
It went on like this:

April 1, 2006

I am currently preparing the things I need. To make this plan work, I must be very careful.

I have no choice but this is the only thing I could think of.

To be with you again.

I can still remember how I first met you at school. The way you laugh, the way you talk, the way you smile, the way our eyes would meet, and I can remember it vividly.

I can still remember our first valentine’s day together, how you were amazed at my gifts delivered by the First Year students. I can still remember our first kiss, when I kissed you and you returned the favor. I can still remember out first “I Will Miss You” when vacation time started.

I can still remember how you hugged me when you told me you’d never commit suicide again. I wish I could hug you like that again…

Of course, the telephone conversations. I can vividly remember it. We talk for hours on the phone until midnight. We cover a lot of topics such as everyday school activities to being in love.

You never imagined how happy I am when you had become my lover…

But everything changed.

One rainy day, you broke up with me.

I can still remember how you held my hand then suddenly you pulled it away from me…

I can still hear myself asking you, what about us?

I can still hear those words you said to me,

“There can’t be an ‘us’…”

I fully absorbed the impact of those words.

“This is the end…my road ends here…yours is still going…don’t waste your time on me…go…your life would go on…leave me be…I…I will…I will miss you…”

Then you walked away.

I wish I just never saw you leave from me…

(Part 6 at a later release…)

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...Part 4

2006-04-07T15:40:00.000+08:00

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...

Part 4

As I browsed through the diary’s pages, I noticed that after the Feb. 4 entry, she stopped writing after that. I start to wonder what kind of relationship did the owner have with this particular person. Maybe, I thought, I won’t get any more clues after this. I almost start to give up when I came across another entry:

March 3, 2006

I thought you love me but why did you leave me? Why did you not defend me?
I asked you that and you looked down and said, “Because I love you.”
I did not answer but I tightened my grip on your shoulder.
I suddenly released my grip because it pained me.
You kneeled on the ground and pounded your fists against it.
As I start to walk away, I realized what kind of a fool I am, loving you
Then suddenly, I turned back and said these last words,

“As you shed your tears don’t ever look back.”

I close the diary with a sigh. So this is how everything had turned out for these two souls. I pity them so much. I know that life is so harsh on them. Maybe their families won’t allow their relationship to go on or maybe they had a lover’s quarrel.

But something’s not definitely right.

I look at the handwriting carefully. Then I took my hand glass and peered through it. I tried to dust for fingerprints but I didn’t get a single inkling on who the owner might be. So I decided to make notes about it. I took my notepad and my pen and started scribbling.

Crime committed

When: April 3, 2006
Where: High School building, Wuthering Heights Academy
Evidences gathered:

Before I wrote my evidences down, I took a pair of large tongs and some clear plastic from my overnight bag. I started picking up the evidences as I noted them in my notepad.

ü Set of blades
ü Shin guards
ü Kick pad
ü Victorinox Swiss army knife
ü Stick of glue
ü Bloodstained handkerchief
ü Diary

And when I came into the place where I last seen the murderer, I saw something that made me shiver.

ü .45 caliber handgun
ü Hand grenades

It seemed that the murderer is well prepared, I thought. After I gathered up all the evidences, I called my father’s most trusted operative on my cell phone to come to the school to pick up the evidences. After 5 minutes, we met at the lobby of the school and I gave him all that I found. After he left, I went back to the building.

I did not give the diary yet because I believe that it will be the key to solving the mystery.

I opened the diary again and used my hand glass to study the entries. Using all that I’ve learned about studying handwriting, I studied the handwriting carefully. This is what I found out:

Slight curve to the left-person is an introvert
First letter bigger than the rest-person is arrogant
Writing is in script
Elegant, Victorian style of handwriting

After that, I put it all together and wrote down my conclusion:

Conclusion: handwriting belongs to a girl

All my suspicions are correct. This diary belongs to a girl.

But something’s definitely wrong here.

Is the murderer a girl?

Is the person she is in love with is also a girl?

I don’t know where this will take me.

But I know, I’m getting close.

(Part 5 at a later release…)

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...Part 3

2006-04-06T05:47:00.000+08:00

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...

Part 3

It’s almost 10 minutes past 7 o’clock. We decide to spend the night in search of clues. You call your parents on your cell phone to tell them you’re going to spend the night at my house. We can hear the thunder clapping. It’s going to rain tonight, I say. You nodded in agreement. We start to walk towards an empty classroom. When we enter the room, it is quite warm. You comment that it’s quite unusual since all the rooms are open-air meaning that there are no walls in the front of the room and there are no doors. The only rooms that have doors are the restroom and the room that once served as the faculty kitchen. Well, it’s supposed to be cold right? You added.

Well, I also noticed it but I decide to shrug it off. I am still holding the diary in my right hand. Since I’m a private investigator-in-training, I decide that I’m not going to rest until it’s all studied. I came here because dad had so many cases to handle and he decided to give this case to me. You decide to tag along. As we drove to the school, I felt that something’s wrong. And my suspicions are confirmed.

There was a murder committed here. And I have the evidences at my disposal. I decide to conduct a more thorough investigation in the matter. After all, I already know the risks involved in my business. I walk to you and ask you whether you really want to stay with me. I then explain that since we are still at the scene of the crime and still gathering clues, we might run the risk of being exterminated by the murderer or frame-up in this case. You look at me intently and you tell me that you are willing to risk it for the sake of solving this case.

Suddenly, it has become so cold we both shivered. I give you my jacket. There are footsteps overhead. I decide to check out where they come from. I tell you to stay there. I flatten myself against the wall as I listen to the footsteps. It seems like it’s approaching us.

I braced myself for the unknown.

Then suddenly, it changed direction. I saw that it stopped to where the pocketknife was pierced. It pulled the pocketknife off the wall. I almost fainted in fear because I thought that whoever it is would kill us because we have seen everything.

I was wrong.

Instead, it turned away and headed towards the stairs. I breathed a sigh of relief as hear the footsteps fading away. I returned to where you are. I am relieved to find that you are still in one piece. I smile to myself as I watch you sleep under my jacket.

I suddenly remember the diary. Since I don’t feel sleepy at all, I decide to pass the time by reading the rest of the entries. Maybe I may be able to find out whose diary is this, I thought. So, I open the diary and began to read.

I browse through the pages, trying to find something interesting. At last, after a few minutes, I found an interesting entry. It goes like this:

Feb. 4, 2006

Happiness flooded my being,
As you give your yes to me.
Perhaps this is a sign,
To reveal to you how much you are dear to me.

I hope to this day onward
Our relationship will grow strong
And the tides of forbid
Shall not prevail against it.

Forbid? Hmmm…. maybe their relationship is forbidden, I thought. Maybe I’m right or maybe I’m wrong. I rifled through the pages, trying to find more interesting stuff…

(Part 4 at a later release…)

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...Part 2

2006-04-04T09:08:00.000+08:00

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...

Part 2

As we turn on the lights, we are frozen with the thought that the girl murdered her. Because of so much fear, we had trouble finding the switch. It was rather scary 'coz the girl might return to remove the traces of the crime. Finally, we found a lever and after we pull it, all the lights went on.

We survey the whole area. It was a total mess. Blood littered the walls and the floor. A pocketknife was pierced against the wall. A bunch of blades and taekwondo equipment such as kick pads and shin guards were strewn all over the floor.

We start to walk again as we look for more clues. We decide to enter the rooms.

After minutes of looking around, I hear a shout from you. You find a notebook on the floor. I immediately pick it up and look through it. It seemed like it's a journal of events. A diary. We sit on the floor and began to read.

The first entry is quite blurry…it looked like it was badly smudged. Upon closer inspection, we see that it’s a teardrop. A teardrop? We squint to read the text clearly. This is what we read:

August 4, 2005

As I lay my head on my pillow, you are still in my thoughts…
How could I have not noticed it?
The first time I saw you, I immediately fell in love with you.
Now, whenever I see you, all my troubles seem to fade away…
And my thoughts about you are here to stay…

At the end of the text, there are lines taken from a poem:

“And as the sunlight dim
In the blood-red sky
Your kiss becomes my refuge
And your warmth becomes my salvation…”

-Tears and the Blood Red Sky
By: One-Hit wonder

Judging from the entry, whoever wrote this is passionately in love with someone. It revealed quite a lot the innermost feelings of the writer. But the problem is, we don’t even know who the writer is or even his gender. I guess if we read the diary further, we might be able to get a hint who the author is.
But I wonder…

Is the murderer the author of the diary?

(Part 3 at a later release.)

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...

2006-04-02T01:29:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: This insight by the author is influenced by the different authors she encountered. Please be guided that she does not own any of the said author's stories and poems.

As You Shed Your Tears, Don't Ever Look Back...

Prologue

Silence. A roaring silence ensued around the corridor of the abandoned school building. The only things that are audible are the rustling of the wind and the occasional knocking of the windows and doors. These are the only things that bore witness to the crime commited in this place. Shouts. Cries. The sound of feet shuffling as one tries to evade. The sound of blood splashing against the floor as one stabbed the other with a knife. Screaming that echoes through the walls. Let us walk through and see the carnage.

We walk through cautiously, as if someone might see us. The corridor was a mess, as we all might see. There is blood all over the floor and some on the walls. The silence is deafening to the ears. As we look through the rooms, i could have sworn I have seen a pair of blood red eyes staring at me. Well, I think I was just mistaken...

We continue walking. Suddenly, we hear a cry for help. We start to walk briskly. Then we start to run, trying to find where the voice comes from.

We approach the end of the corridor. The sign says, 3rd Year level. We see something lying on the ground. Upon closer inspection, we see it's a body. A body of a person almost half-dead. And oh, it's a girl. We see that she is still alive but barely breathing. She slips in and out of consciousness. She only muttered things such as "Why?" and "Please forgive me..." Suddenly, we hear hurried footsteps. We immediately jump into the nearest table. As we look, we see someone walking towards the body. You immediately react and try to stop the person but I put my hand on your shoulders and you desisted. We watch as the person approached her and we almost made an impatient noise as the person (it reveals that she is a girl!) stands in front of her. She looked down at her victim, who tries to talk but words wouldn't come out. We watch in awe as she put her arms on her and carried her downstairs. We could still hear her footsteps. Soon, they fade away.

We come out of our hiding place. Whew. I say to you. Good Thing we're not seen. You wanted to check out the place very thoroughly. I agree. We switched on the lights. And we surveyed the mess...

(Part 2 later...)

Report Card...

2006-03-31T16:12:00.000+08:00

Hehe....Report Card...I hate that time...You know,getting your final grades and showing off those nice grades of yours...Well,I must say for once, my grades today are not that bad...just nice maybe...But I won't make it to the Star Section anymore...Not that I want it though...The experience is so unnerving...Hmmmp! Is if I wanted to...Hahaha...

Hehe...Anyway, things are going my way...Hehe...If you all know what I mean...Hahaha...Well, I must stop posting for now...Bye!

Prepare for the Unexpected...

2006-03-29T19:35:00.000+08:00

Hehe...If ur wondering why this is the title of the post, well it's because this week is so unexpecting and full of surprises...Well, let me tell you all of it....

1. We had unexpected visitors and the house wasn't cleaned! I got a nice sermon from my 'rents...(Talk about being on sermon!) I cried people, what do u all expect???Smile??!!!

2. Well, a really close friend of mine(how close???) came to my house....She's with a friend...Well,
I was totally surprised but I'm really happy(Sorry to the offended ones!)

3. A new testimonial...(Thanks Obie!)

That's it guys....Expect the Unexpected...

Dying In Her Arms Part 2

2006-02-11T13:45:00.000+08:00

Tim.

“Tim! What are you doing here?” I asked as I backed away, smiling.

“Hi, Mari. I missed you, honey.” Tim said as he held my hand and led me away from the crowd. I felt a sense of light-headedness as he did that. I felt so lucky to have him. But it will be over for a couple of days.

I did the unthinkable.

“Tim, I think you should stop seeing me.” I said.

He stopped dead on his tracks, apparently upset.

“Why Mari? Is my love for you not enough? Are we not happy with each other? Tell Me!” Tim said as he roughly pushed me against the wall, almost crushing me. A lot of people were startled and started to go near. I tried to keep a straight face as he dragged me into the crowd.

Then finally, we arrived.

Heaven.

I stared at him. He seemed so confident yet there was something that disturbed him.Looking into his eyes, I saw his gentle nature inside all of the rowdiness and brashness. By that time, I did not know my time with him would be cut short. I began to breathe heavily and piece-by-piece, I felt intense pain. A pain that will never be erased. Tim looked at me with his amber eyes. i will never forget that look he gave me...

It's so meaningful....

"Look Mari. I know that you're dying. Why didn't you tell me sooner? i should've adjusted
to what you are feeling right now." With these words, he suddenly pulled me into a
tight hug. He felt warm and secured. As though I was his security blanket.

Then suddenly, my muscles twitched horribly.

I felt the pain radiating from my muscles. I suddenly collapsed because of the pain.
I was terrified. I thought I will die...

When I slowly regained consciousness...

I found myself lying in Tim's lap.

He brushed my hair slowly and when I looked up, I saw his worried face.

"Mari, are you okay? You were unconcious for 5 hours already...what happened?"
He said as he continued brushing.

“What happened?” I asked him.

“You suddenly collapsed. Are you ok now?” He asked.

Truth is, I’m not ok anymore. I am now experiencing the symptoms of near death. I mustered all my strength to nod my head but I wasn’t able to. My muscles were out of control. I merely looked at him. To my surprise, his eyes were full of tears.

He began to cry like a child. Then, he hugged me again.

“Mari, don’t leave me….”

Then, without warning, my eyes begin to close uncontrollably. The last thing I saw was his face and I felt his arms…And I was carried over…

Dying In Her Arms Part 1

2006-02-08T06:16:00.000+08:00

I watch myself wither in silence…

I hoped to wake up into a fresh new start…

But I had awoke in the ER and I heard these words…

“She’s not gonna make it…”

As I sit in my wheelchair, I began to feel the sense of helplessness. This feeling has
never left me since I was rushed here, 3 months ago, shaking and shivering, into
the emergency room…I can still hear the doctor’s calm voice when he told my parents,
“She’s not gonna make it…” I felt the whole world caved in on me…I was helpless.
Alone.

The doctors have not approved me to go out of the hospital. It is my home for 4 months
already. Sometimes my parents would stay with me, but most of the time, they are
frantically busy. Sometimes friends would drop by and say hello. At least I know I’m not alone. Lucky me.

Six weeks later…

I am getting ready to go out of the hospital. My home for 4 months. The doctors said that I must get my affairs in order. I was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease. The disease is terminal, which means to say I will soon die from it. Most of my friends have not known it yet. I intentionally did not tell them. I don’t want them to be sad for me. Especially Tim.
My bf. He’s a sensitive guy. Usually, he often picks fights with his classmates. You see, Tim is younger than me by about a year. He’s in 2nd year high school. I’m in third year. In the star section. I have good classmates. They care so much for me. I have friends too.
I’ve known them for almost 3 years. Actually, I have two friends who I’ve already known for almost 6 years. Of course they know about this. Well, Tim’s kind of possessive to me. He always wants to see me always. He wants to be with me always. But it was kind of disturbing especially when I have to pair up with my boy classmates for projects. He always picks fights with them. He is really aggressive and tactless.

I do not know how I managed to tolerate him. All I know is, I’ve fallen in love with him. I never kissed him on the lips. He had never expressed his desire to do so and that’s fine with me. He kissed me on the cheeks a couple of times. But we never kissed each other on the lips. And we never make fuzz about it.

I almost forgot. I never told Tim about my sickness. And I only have about a week to live and get everything in order. And as I worry how would I tell him about my condition, a pair of hands grabbed me by the shoulders and as I turn around to see who it was, I saw…